Another joke 'collecting box', to add to the one I've been running for the past few months here (originally/primarily for Irish jokes, but now for pretty much whatever takes your fancy).
Since this is a bar-themed blog, I thought it would be appropriate to accumulate some bar-themed jokes.
The "animal goes into a bar..." genre is a particular favourite of mine. The classic example of this is, of course:
A horse goes into a bar and orders a double whisky.
"There you go," says the barman. "But tell me, why the long face?"
And then there's this variation, which I like even better.
A polar bear goes into a bar.
"What'll you have?" says the barman.
"Oh, I'll have...um....er.....(the bear scans the spirit bottles on the optic and the shelves for several seconds before making up his mind)......... oh, can I have a gin & tonic?"
"Of course you can, sir," says the barman. "But tell me, why the big pause?"
There are some in this genre involving people rather than animals.
Quasimodo goes into a bar.
"God, I've had a terrible day at work," he moans. "Give me a large whisky."
"Of course, sir," says the barman. "Any particular brand?"
The hunchback ponders his options for a moment. "Oh, the Bell's, the Bell's."
And then there are the really silly ones, like this.
Shakespeare goes into bar.
"Get out!" roars the barman. "I've told you: you're Bard."
A few years ago I even invented one about the bingmayong, the famous Terracotta Warriors of Xi'an.
A terracotta warrior goes into a bar.
"Will you have something to drink?" asks the barman.
"I'm afraid I can't," replies the warrior.
"Why not? Are you on duty?" asks the barman facetiously.
"No," replies the warrior, irritatedly. "I'm made of terracotta, aren't I?"
You get the idea. The great surrealist gag from Tommy Cooper that I posted a week or two ago would fit here as well. What are your favourites?? Please, add them to the 'comments'.
"And if you're looking for your friend, the playwright - I threw him out ten minutes ago."