The Froog Bar Awards - 2012

This is it, my sixth (and final) annual review of the best and worst of Beijing's bar scene.

I suppose I'm not really very well placed to comment on the scene in detail this time around, since I've been away from Beijing for at least a third of this year, and didn't go out very much while I was here. However, my respect for tradition compels me to maintain the custom of a year-end 'review' post that I inaugurated in 2007.


As in previous years, my aim here is to provoke (and sometimes, godammit, yes, to offend) as well as to enlighten, so please feel free to pitch in - and bitch in - down below in the comments if you have anything to add in regard to any of these opinions. I hope a few people at least will find this post (although burying it a few days back from the ostensible closedown date of the blog on December 21st minimises its visibility, I know), and find it useful, or at any rate interestingly provocative.

Best Live Music Venue

Winner:  VA Bar
This place has grown on me over the last year or two. They impressed from the get-go with with their regular and eclectic lineup of shows, but compromised their appeal with inept/surly service and rather high prices. Prices have now been lowered, the attitude has improved, and the sound system remains about the best in town. Just about all of the best gigs I've been to in the last 18 months have been at VA Bar (although it now seems to be making a move to rebrand itself as Vanguard Livehouse).

Runners-up: Hot Cat Club, 2 Kolegas
I love the grunginess of Hot Cat, and its throwback-to-the-good-old-days prices. I don't love its erratic scheduling and non-existent advertising. Much as I want to like this venue, I suppose I've only gone three or four times this year; and only when specifically invited by a friend, rather than looking in on spec, or because I've seen an interesting lineup advertised. I'm impressed by the remodelling at 2 Kolegas, greatly improving their toilet facilities and their beer fridge capacity; but, unfortunately, as Beijing's taxi service has declined towards unusability, the place is just too darned far away to entice me very often any more. Similarly with the old What bar, I'm very fond of it - but it's just a bit too much of a hike for me to go all that often. Old local favourites Jianghu and Jiangjinjiu were both rumoured to be closing this year, but have both survived; alas, they are both now too well-known for their own good, and uncomfortably packed out for most shows. How I miss their early days, when they were a music-lovers' 'secret'! I suppose my most conspicuous omission here is Temple which, while I find it a welcome addition to the scene, is not a place that I've been able to warm to. The sound system, the prices, the clientele, the general vibe - it's all just a little bit off, somehow. [As I noted last year I always seem to overlook East Shore Jazz Cafe in this section, because I don't go that often, and it only does jazz; but it is very good. And I am going to make a point of getting in several visits before I depart Beijing.]

Worst Live Music Venue

Winner:  Yugong Yishan

Runner-up:  MAO Live House

MAO is actually the best venue in town in terms of the regularity of its shows and the quality of the sound system. It just does nothing to make itself attractive to customers - the air-conditioning and the bar remain huge shortcomings there. Yugong Yishan continues to SUCK, for all of the reasons that I catalogued here. I can't recall if I've been there at all this year; I am doing my best to boycott it.

Best Gig of the Year

Winner:  The intimate Beijing Beatles gig at tiny Nanluoguxiang bar 12 Square Metres in March
Limited advertising and inclement weather threatened to scupper the event, but after anxious delays and an awkwardly slow start, these adverse circumstances actually helped to make it into a rather magical evening.

Runner-up: Tulegur at Jianghu (a couple of times)
The artist formerly known as Gangzi has decided to start going by his real name (which could prove a mite confusing for people who bought his previous releases), but he continues to be in a different class from just about anyone else around: a superb musician, a great voice - spell-binding.

Worst Gig of the Year

Winner:  Day One of the IndieChina anniversary show at Mako Live at the beginning of September

I'd never heard of IndieChina, but apparently it's a Chinese website that has built itself into quite an important fan forum over the past 7 or 8 years, mainly focusing on 'post-rock' - not a genre I have a lot of time for. However, their two-day celebration down in Shuangjing was one of the biggest events of the year, and the Friday lineup included some well spoken-of - and non-post-rock - bands. I'd only just got back to Beijing after nearly four months away, so I was quite excited about the potential of this one. Unfortunately, just about everything about the show sucked. The venue was uncomfortably over-full, and got very hot, as they didn't seem to want to crank the air-conditioning up. They ran out of cold beers within minutes of the start. And even Omnipotent Youth Society, one of my favourite Chinese bands, failed to thrill on this occasion - largely because of a lousy sound balance that wasn't giving enough prominence to their trademark interjections of soaring trumpet. This was particularly disappointing because enduring the three bands on ahead of them had been nothing less than painful. Openers The Dyne were a drums-and-guitar duo who played formless, self-indulgent instrumentals while staring fixedly at each other and completely ignoring the audience; they managed a few half-interesting moments - probably by accident - in the midst of 25 minutes of utter tedium. Glow Curve, well spoken of by some, were perhaps hampered by the bad sound setup, but appeared barely capable of playing their instruments. Low Wormwood, much lauded of late, and supposedly one of the most popular rock bands in China, appear to have attained that status by playing schmaltzy, derivative, crowd-pleasing folk-rock pap (I thought I remembered having seen them play a few times out at 13 Club in Wudaokou several years ago, but if that was them, they were a completely different band then, much edgier and more experimental). They started with what sounded like a Chinese cover of REM's Everybody Hurts, followed that up with another bland and oddly familiar piece (guitar solo ripped off note-for-note from The Edge!), and then did the obligatory ska number. When they then went into a maudlin slow ballad, my friends and I left in search of chuanr and cheap beers outside for the rest of their set (and I was happy to notice that significant numbers of the young Chinese punters did too; this was predominantly a rock crowd, not your FM Lite types). Those cheap beers were the only consolation of the night.

Best Bar Food

Winners:  Frost, Flamme

Runners-up: Luga's, The Den, The Irish Volunteer, Plan B

2010 winner Sand Pebbles may finally be getting its act together again, I think; although service out of the kitchen is still slow, and the place has got a little too popular for its own good, it has seemed to be much improved on my last couple of visits - restoring it to the status of being about the best place in town for Mexican food (though I'm peeved they seem to have taken my favourite chicken dish off the menu). However, this revival has come too late - or I have discovered it too late (sorry, Ray) - for it to get back into a prize slot this year. I've dumped First Floor from a runners-up spot as well, because it's really a bit too expensive (other than on half-price Mondays), and the service continues to be terrible. The significant new arrival on the scene this year has been Frost, Jeff Powell's tiny bar on Xingfu Ercun. The burger is about the best in town (though I've heard some people gripe that it's a little on the small side), the side salad is more than generous, and the yellow pepper relish is superb. I'm less enthused about the hotdogs; the homemade brats are large and tasty, but tend to be a bit gristly, and to use a non-edible skin. There must be a fear that the Chinese staff are unlikely to be able to maintain the quality of service, now that Jeff is once again moving on to grander things. And the bar itself lacks charm: it's too pokey, and the drinks are too expensive for a hole-in-the-wall. Hanging out on the tables outside was an attractive option on warm evenings in early summer, but I imagine it's going to be dead for the next 4 or 5 months. The burgers down at new Shuangjing opening Plan B are pretty damned good - and good value - too. Otherwise, no change from last year.

Best Place To Drink While Eating

Winners:  Home Plate BBQ

Runner-up:  Traktirr, Biteapitta, 4 Corners

Last year's winner Fodder Factory has, I'm told, relocated to less cosy premises, and bumped its prices up quite a bit - alas, alas. Ah well, it was always too far away to be more than a once or twice a year special adventure, anyway. I'm pleased to see that the original Traktirr has reopened (a much warmer vibe than its larger sister around the corner on Guijie, Traktirr Pushkin), and it easily takes the prize as my favourite Russian joint - as White Knights, sadly, continues to get stroppier and stroppier staff and stingier and stingier portions. Biteapitta is losing its place in my heart as well: the falafel - long a favourite of mine - has become ridiculously salty. It clings on to its place here because there are still plenty of things on the menu I like, and the draught beer is about the cheapest you can find in Sanlitun. I've heard some very good things about 4 Corners, the revamp of the old Orange Tree bistro, but I haven't got around to checking it out myself yet.


Best Place To Go For A Cocktail

Winner:  Flamme

Runners-up:  Mai, MaoMaoChong, Más

Flamme, for me, continues to be head-and-shoulders above the competition, thanks to Paul Mathew's superb recipes - although the loss of both Coco and Sophie from behind the bar there this year has been a blow. Mai and MaoMaoChong continue to be very welcome enhancements to my neighbourhood. And newcomer Más has some interesting original mixes too - although they don't taste very strong, and the place is severely lacking in ambience.


Best Place For Sitting Outside

Winner:  Home Plate BBQ

Runner-Up:  Alba

No change from last year.

Worst Bar

Winner: The Stumble Inn
No changes in this category, either. Food, prices, and service at the Stumble all continue to provoke regular complaints. And it's upstairs in a mall. I refuse to set foot in the place.

Runner-up: Drei Kronen
How does this overpriced Bavarian theme-park keep going?????

Additional Runner-up: BeerMania
In the old days, it was unassuming, it had no delusions of grandeur. The original space was at least cosy, projected a sort of ramshackle charm. The new, vastly expanded venue has the ambience of a college cafeteria. The beer list is irrationally long, and overpriced - and, of course, none of the staff knows how much anything costs!


Worst New Bar

Winner: The Red House

I would have thought it was pretty much impossible to screw up a 'dive bar' - but this franchise extension into the city centre by the popular Wudaokou grot-hole is just dismal.

Least Surprising Closure

Winner: Danger Doyle's

The only surprise was that it had managed to limp on for - what? - nearly three years.

Most Sadly Missed Departures of the Year

Winner:  Mike and Lauren at 12 Square Metres
Their tenure as managers at my favourite bar was only planned to be temporary anyway, but they were abruptly, prematurely driven out by the absurd 'anti-foreigner crackdown' in Beijing this summer.


Runner-up:  Chad Lager - ousted from Fubar  
(at which he was really the only reason for visiting)
I have a feeling he'll be back next year in some new venture...



Party of the Year

Winner:  My leaving party in May
I feel a bit guilty about nominating a small private event, but I just didn't go to any major public events this year. And this was everything a leaving party should be - including barely making it home, crashing out on the sofa instead of in my bed, and struggling to get my packing done in time for my flight. My friends and I ended up in Amilal until nearly 4am, after consuming many, many, many shot-glass servings of mengjiu at a leg o' lamb restaurant in the hutongs.

Most Promising New Bar

Winner:  Plan B
Its tiny space, haphazard decor, and obscure location limit its prospects, but it's made the most of its meagre resources, establishing itself as a friendly and characterful little hangout for those lucky enough to live nearby - and it's an appealing enough oddity to entice us Gulou boys outside the Third Ringroad every once in a while.

Runners-up:  None - lots of new openings this year, but none of them quite cut the mustard for me.


Barperson of the Year

Winner:  Jane at Nearby The Tree
The only bartender in town who still gives me liver-wreckingly generous free pours. (I actually had to ask her to leave some room for the ice the other day!) She laid on a very nice spread for a friend's wake in September as well.

Bar of the Year

Winner:  Modernista
I don't love Modernista, myself. It's got a bit too much of a European vibe for me, the service isn't great, and it's an unfortunate size - just big enough to make you feel self-conscious if there aren't many people in, but too small to cope with the kind of crowds that it regularly attracts, rarely if ever attaining that happy medium of being buzzy but not cramped. But there's the thing - it is regularly drawing large numbers of people; far more, I would think, than any of the other recent openings (and it might well have claimed the prize as best newcomer too, since it only opened towards the end of November last year). And it's built up this following because the owners have made sterling efforts to create and publicise a packed programme of events. Whether it's swing dance classes, film shows, or mah jong evenings, there's almost always something going on at Modernista. Other bars could learn a lesson from that. And they deserve a lot of credit for their achievement.

There we have it. Any comments, queries, abuse??

How not to do it - opening a bar

A couple of weeks ago, I was tipped off about a new bar opening in my neighbourhood - so, I thought I'd go and give it a try.

There are many, many bad and pointless Chinese bars opening up all over the place - particularly in my neighbourhood! - all the time; most of them I never get around to checking out; and most of them don't endure for very long. Therefore, I am somewhat perversely glad that, for once, I went to the trouble of scoping this place out... because it superbly epitomises so much of what is STUPID about most Chinese bar owners in Beijing, it is a text book on how not to.

Things that are probably better to avoid:

Setting up off the strip

Sure, some places - good places (like MaoMaoChong or Amilal or El Nido) - can establish themselves as 'destination bars', somewhere that's worth a small excursion off the more regularly beaten track. And more true 'neighbourbood bars', 'locals' serving the population who live in the immediate vicinity (like The Brick) rather than the general after-work drinking crowd, would be a welcome addition to the Beijing scene. But, in general, there's a reason why bars and restaurants cluster together around Sanlitun and Gongti and Nanluoguxiang and Houhai and Wudaoying and Wudaokou. Most 'lone wolves' die of starvation. Hence, the bar that inspired me to write this is immediately setting itself a bit of a challenge by opening up on Gulou Dongdajie (a street of shops and restaurants, not bars), mid-way between the Houhai and Nanluoguxiang bar enclaves (nearby, but perhaps not quite near enough).

Impossible to find/No name outside

The 'speakeasy' craze has tried to make a virtue of obscurity, elevating being unadvertised, unlabelled, hard-to-find into a quirky marketing gimmick. I don't like the idea much myself, but I can see that it might sometimes work - with a very special kind of bar (a trendy, upmarket cocktail bar). With most bars, it is simply commercial suicide: if you don't put a sign out front, you are never going to have any business. Guess what my new bar forgot to do?

Being upstairs, in a mall

Of course, I long ago identified this as one of the defining characteristics of a bad bar. If there is one thing that's arguably even worse, it's being upstairs in a mini industrial estate. Oh, and set back off the main street. At least this place is in quite a bustling area, a very central location in the city. And it's upstairs from a highly visible motorcycle-and-sidecar dealership, which makes it fairly easy to find once you know the secret.

Unclear or naff or multiple names

The bar in question is ostensibly called Zhou in Chinese. Apparently, that's the zhou that means 'axle', not the one that means 'porridge' (nor any of the other 100-odd zhou words; it's a troublesomely multifarious syllable - although I think this is the only one, or the only common one, with a rising second tone). However, the posters that flank the door proclaim instead iBeer - very hip and modern; and I'm sure Apple won't mind. Ah, but the business cards announce that the 'English name' is Eje Beer Club. The owner tells me that 'eje' is the Spanish for zhou, i.e., for 'axle'; so, at least there's some consistency there. Unfortunately, his Spanish is about as good as my Chinese, so I am unable to reach an understanding of why he has chosen to call his bar this... in Chinese and Spanish, but not in English. [One is reminded of the worst bar on Nanluoguxiang, which has long suffered the handicap of having not one but two of the most ridiculous names to be found in this city: LogIn Pub and Wiggly Jiggly's. And also of the little Moroccan restaurant opposite the April Gourmet supermarket on Xingfu Ercun, which has signs outside identifying it as Argana and Escobar and Casablanca; not naff names, but too many of them - this confusion of identity no doubt explains why it has never developed the kind of following that its prime location and tasty food deserve.]

Inconsistent theme or lack of branding

It was also unclear to me why such a very Asian bar (think Japanese or Korean: bright, garish, would-be space-agey, with lots of chrome and shiny plastic and mirrors) would give itself a Spanish name. And then specialise in Belgian beer. While playing (at least while I was there) exclusively reggae music. This is a bit too much of a cultural mélange: customers don't understand what you're trying to give them here.

Horrible decor

I already mentioned the gleaming plastic and the overuse of mirrors, didn't I? There are also some 'homemade' booth seats along the wall with the windows, which are too cramped for anyone - other than, perhaps, very diminutive Asian girls - to actually sit in, and are absolutely rock hard. The centre of the room is filled with small, high, round, gleamingly plasticky tables - most of which have but a single stool placed next to them. So, this is a "beer club" for the solitary drinker?? You'll probably need to wear ski goggles as well, since the lighting sears the eyeballs.

An unwelcoming attitude

It's good to get your mates in to support you in your early days, and to give the impression - however slight and unconvincing - that the place is attracting customers. It's not such a good idea to have these few guys always completely hog what little counter space you have at the bar.  And chain smoke, in a small, poorly ventilated room. (I suppose I should be grateful at least that they weren't playing dice. Although it seemed likely that dice, or cards, or some kind of drinking game would break out shortly.)

Lack of facilities

These days, your own loo - preferably a Western-style sit-upon - is pretty much de rigueur for a bar, or at any rate for one that aspires to be even slightly upmarket. As is a wi-fi beacon (despite half-hearted attempts by the authorites to outlaw wi-fi last summer). And at least one member of staff who can muster a couple of dozen words of English. Zhou may address these deficits in time - but I wouldn't bet on it.

Too near to rivals

Zhou may be just a bit too far away from Houhai or Nanluoguxiang to pick up much random foot traffic (er, if anyone knew it was there anyway...), but it is right next door to two other recent-ish bar openings, Temple and Jam. Temple is a large, divey bar, with Chinese/European ownership, focused on beer and simple cocktails, and putting on a lot of live music; Jam is cleaner, brighter, more upmarket, more Asian in flavour, with a "Japanese/Italian" theme (I kid you not!) and an emphasis on food and fancy cocktails. As it happens, I don't particularly like either of these places; but at least they have a fairly clear idea of what they want to do, and they do it way better than Zhou. I cannot conceive of anyone choosing to go to Zhou rather than to one of these two neighbours.

Falling between two stools

It's particularly unfortunate that Zhou is in many ways so reminiscent of its local rivals. Its emphasis on imported beers, and its attempt to keep prices reasonable (about the one good thing I have to say for it; I think it's probably got the cheapest bottle of Duvel in town at the moment - I just don't like Duvel, unfortunately) would seem to pitch it more in the 'dive bar' category, where it can't hold a candle to Temple (or El Nido). However, its decor and ambience (insofar as it has one) seem to be aspiring more to something Asian-friendly and slightly swish.... like Jam. It is not so much falling between two stools as taking careful aim and diving between them...

Perhaps it can attract enough Chinese - and Japanese and Korean - beer enthusiasts to keep it afloat. But, without some radical changes, it is never going to build any Western custom.

HBH 277

Waiting forever;

No menus and no service;

Worst bar in the world.

I was enticed back to Danger Doyle's last night - for the first time in well over a year. I was willing to give it another chance, hoping it might have improved somewhat from its abysmal earlier impressions.

It had not. I stayed for all of about 15 minutes - as long as it took to convince me that I was NEVER going to get served.

To be fair, the staff were working quite well under difficult conditions. But there appeared to be NO DRINKS LISTS anywhere (a problem continuing from their early days three years ago!!). There were no lists of the specials being offered for this event. And there were apparently no extra staff laid on (for a quite heavily attended alumni group party). When you're busy, it's really important to let people know what's available and how much it costs without having to ASK every time.

Some table service would have been in order, too. And some attentiveness from the bar staff - rather than all crowding together in the middle of the bar, and pretty much demanding that punters come up to them and grab them by the throat in order to place an order. It was a vision of hell on earth.

Another crying shame

Jorma Kaukonen - a founder member of classic bands Jefferson Airplane and Hot Tuna - is playing in Beijing today. A number of the online listings folks have been saying that he is the first Rock'n'Roll Hall of Famer ever to play here (I doubt that - probably Bob Dylan?); he's almost certainly the most important recording artist likely to be appearing here this year, or for a few years to come.

But, coming at the end of the Spring Festival Holiday, when all the music venues are only just opening up again after a two or three week shutdown, and when the expat magazines have been running on autopilot and largely ignored for the past month or more, this has had just about zero publicity. The venue sent me an e-mail notification about the gig only a couple of days ago.

I dare say the word will get around effectively enough, though. His support act, Beijing roots music combo The Randy Abel Stable, can probably rouse quite a fair-sized crowd just from the ranks of their friends and fans.

Unfortunately, the gig is at Yugong Yishan - so, I won't be going. These days, Jorma plays mostly American roots music - all or very largely acoustic. As I've observed a number of times before, the sound system and acoustics at Yugong are so poor that acoustic shows (and quieter electric ones) invariably get ruined by the background hubbub of the crowd.

Almost every experience I've had at Yugong in the last two or three years has SUCKED; and I think this is going to SUCK too.

I hope I'm wrong. I hope Jorma has brought his own engineer to tease the best out of the sound desk. I hope the crowd are going to be so awed by his presence that they will maintain a reverential silence throughout his set. I hope the attendance will be neither dangerously overfull nor disappointingly sparse. And I hope they've started carrying non-shanzhai booze behind the bar again. But we all know that's not going to happen, don't we?

So, here's what we'll be missing - Jorma Kaukonen performing one of his earliest numbers, Hesitation Blues, accompanied on mandolin by Barry Mitterhoff, who's playing with him tonight.

YouTube also has clips of him playing this on his own, with Hot Tuna... and with Janis Joplin.

I shall be keeping my ear to the ground, in the hopes that he might play an unscheduled after-show gig somewhere later tonight, or perhaps tomorrow. Jianghu or East Shore Live Jazz would the likeliest spots, I should think. Fingers crossed!!

The Froog Bar Awards - 2011

So, here it is - my fifth annual review of the best and worst of Beijing's bar scene.

I've trimmed things down quite a bit this year, dispensing with a number of categories. Partly, this is reflective of the fact that I've been out much less this past year, and am losing touch with - or interest in - many of the city's newer venues. Partly, though, it's down to the fact that things on the nightlife scene have become a bit static in the last few years. The shit bars remain shit; we're still waiting for the customerless Danger Doyle's and Nanluoguxiang's hilariously bad Wiggly Jiggly's to close; no-one has come up with a dafter bar name than Lafite Exotic English Bar; and so on. It's all the same as last year.

I've also given up the attempt to identify a 'Best Cocktail': the field is just too broad, and I'm not that much of a cocktail drinker.

There are, however, a couple of new categories this time: Least Surprising Closure and Best Happy Hour.

(I was also contemplating separating out the music stuff into a separate post... but, you know what, inertia won out!)


As ever, I aim to provoke (and sometimes, godammit, yes, to offend) as well as to enlighten, so please feel free to pitch in - and bitch in - down below in the comments if you have anything to add in regard to any of these opinions.

Best Live Music Venue

Winner:  What Bar
I am very happy to have rediscovered this out-of-the-way little gem this year, after three or four years of complete neglect. This place certainly ass-whoops the competition in terms of longevity: it celebrated its 9th anniversary (or 8th, or 10th - depending on who you ask) a few months back. To be honest, I go there more for a quiet early evening drink when I'm walking back from Tiananmen than for gigs (which are ill-advertised, but nevertheless - in such a tiny space - often uncomfortably busy); but it has been the scene of a couple of the most fun shows I've been to this year. If you hit the right night - good band, modest crowd - there's nowhere better. And it also trashes the rest of the field for friendliness of welcome: the lady boss there is one of the best laobans in town.

Runners-up: The Bookworm, Jianghu, 13 Club, Hot Cat
I'd passed over The Bookworm in the past, as being only a very occasional venue for music events; but in the past year or so, in addition to Time Out's excellent monthly 'Sunday Salon' series on Chinese and classical music, they've been mounting a pretty regular series of Saturday gigs with a variety of jazz and folk artists - and it's proved to be really a very good venue indeed: decent sound, intimate vibe, attentive audience (pity the draught beer is so AWFUL!).  Jianghu continues to be the most reliable of the venues that are readily accessible to me, and their Tuesday jazz nights have been going particularly well this year. Unfortunately, as they've become better known and their advertising is getting better, it's become impossible to squeeze in there for weekend shows - or whenever there's a major act on. D-22 had got over most of the problems that plagued it in its early years (terrible sound, terrible bar staff), but a couple of Chinese musicians I know have told me that it really seems to have lost its way over the last year or so: just not generating a buzz or drawing many big crowds any more; and now it's about to close. I always preferred the atmosphere of its less laowai-dominated next-door neighbour 13 Club; on those rare occasions when I drag myself up to the Wu, that is. I think 13 is the best venue in the city, but unfortunately is has become almost exclusively a heavy metal club - which is not really my thing. Hot Cat reminds me poignantly of the very first of the Wudaokou music bars, the short-lived, much lamented Loupe Chante: an engagingly cheap and grungy bar that just happens to have some very good rock'n'roll shows occasionally as well. Unfortunately, its programme is still a bit thin, and seldom well-promoted. [I always seem to overlook East Shore Jazz Cafe in this section, because I don't go that often, and it only does jazz; but it is very good.]

Worst Live Music Venue

Winner:  Yugong Yishan

Runner-up:  MAO Live House

2 Kolegas is getting back to winning ways (having trimmed down the outsize speaker stacks that for so long obscured their tiny stage); but their 18 months in the doldrums has completely broken my habit for heading out there. And their programming seems to have become very weak: they can't compete for the bigger names very often any more, so it's the same handful of bands week after week after week. Yugong Yishan continues to disappoint - or appal - with its lousy acoustics and posey, chattersome crowds. I have pretty much given up on the place: I can't imagine a band that could draw me back there now (certainly none of the local outfits; it would have to be someone really BIG). MAO Live House seems to have had some good gigs this year, but almost all in the raw punk or heavy metal categories, which have a strong local following but aren't really my cup of tea. The continued absence of any worthwhile bar or any air-conditioning have meant that I haven't been back there in ages - maybe not this year. Mako Live and The One continue to be much too far away and much too intermittent in their programming to register on many people's radars. Gulou newcomer Temple has been starting to piece together a decent schedule; but unfortunately, it lacks charm as a bar, and its dreadful acoustics restrict its potential as a gig venue. Recent openings Modernista and Beiluo Café show some promise, but are probably only going to be once-or-twice-a-week music spots like Salud, rather than dedicated gig venues. Ditto Za Jia - a great bar, but music is only ever going to be an occasional sideline there. Gulou 121, Zui Yuefang, and Tushuguan continue to be largely wasted opportunities - as, increasingly, is Jiangjinjiu (another place I've scarcely been to all year; a sorry indictment from someone who lives a short walk away, and used to be a weekly visitor). VA Bar I have very mixed feelings about: it has probably had the best regular programme of gigs of any venue this year, but it's such a charmless - often downright unfriendly - bar that I seldom feel it's worth a cover charge.

Best Gig of the Year

Winner:  The Chicago Live! Jazz and Blues Show at CD Blues Café a few weeks ago (part of a week of arts events organised by Booey Lehoo)

Runners-up: The St Patrick's Day gig by Blackwater at Salud, and visiting Norwegian girl band VOM at What Bar in June

Others bubbling under were amiable world music maven Abaji at Jianghu early this year, Ajinai playing at the short-lived Amilal spin-off Aluss in the spring, local folksters Dawanggang opening for Huun-Huur-Tu at Yugong Yishan a few months back and also playing some great stuff at this year's Ditan Folk Festival, Xiao He quite a few times (the best, I think, was his opening for Jeffrey Lewis [see below] at Yugong), and solo Mongolian folk artist Gangzi (probably the most consistently impressive performer around at the moment) quite a few times. Perhaps the most magical evening of all, though, was the one where my old friend David Mitchell gave a low-key solo show on guitar and tambur at Amilal - basically playing just for me and a few friends - during the October holiday week.

I gather The Cranberries were probably the pick of the year's stadium gigs, but I didn't get to see that. Likewise, I didn't really do the festival scene this year, since most of them had been shunted way out of town; Black Rebel Motorcycle Club at the Intercity Music Festival in Chaoyang Park in September provided the one standout open-air music event for me this year. I imagine Cowboy Junkies were as awesome as they always are at the Kama Love Festival in June, but that was the most hideously organised event I've ever been to, and ill health (and raging dehydration: there was NO WATER available!) forced me to quit before they came on - my hugest regret of the century. My second hugest regret is having missed the jam between Black Cat Bone and DH & The Hellcats at Yugong Yishan in September, a collaboration which Beijing Daze memorably dubbed 'Hellbone'! That was, by all accounts, a thoroughly awesome show, and very nearly the last-ever appearance for the now disbanded BCB.


Worst Gig of the Year

Winner:  Jeffrey Lewis at Yugong Yishan in August

This guy appears to aspire to be a sort of Tom Lehrer of the slacker generation, aiming for self-consciously 'clever' lyrics and an arch humour. Unfortunately, he's merely lame and obvious. I observed to BeijingDaze's Ruby at the time that I could imagine being mildly diverted by him for a few songs if we were still in college and he showed up to play for free in our favourite coffee shop. But having to pay top dollar for him at Yugong, my patience was exhausted very quickly: I think I walked out after about 20 minutes. The only consolation of the evening was a little dose of genuinely intelligent weirdness from Xiao He doing the warm-up.

Runner-up:  Gia (reviving the Hang On The Box name) at Hot Cat early in the year

I can't remember exactly when this one took place; it might possibly have been last year. And it's probably not really eligible for 'Worst Gig of the Year' anyway, because there weren't any expectations to disappoint here: everyone knows Gia is a screeching talent-bypass. On this night, the other two bands were OK, so I just stepped outside for most of the 'HOTB' set.

Best Bar Food

Winners:  Flamme, The Den

Runners-up: Luga's, First Floor, The Irish Volunteer

Last year's winner Sand Pebbles has disappointed most times I've been this year. The food is good value, and there are a few things I really like on the menu; but service out of the kitchen is chaotic, and you often wait a long time for something that is barely warmed through. First Floor's grub is a bit variable in quality (AVOID the nachos!), and seriously overpriced; but the steaks, burgers, and ribs are amongst the best to be had (not high praise in Beijing, but...). The Irish Volunteer has some very good dishes (the Thai curries added this year are almost worth the long hike out to Lido on their own), but there's nothing else about the bar that's ever likely to entice me there. Luga's worthy-but-dull burritos, and The Den's reassuringly unchanging and refreshingly affordable menu of bar food standards continue to be front-runners year after year. I feel slightly awkward about giving the top spot to Flamme, since it is really a restaurant rather than a bar, and so its food is naturally a class-and-a-half above any of these other picks. However, it does also have an extremely good bar; and the veggie side-dishes are very reasonably priced. Hence, I find myself more often eating a snack at the bar than sitting down at a table for a full meal. [The pizzas at MaoMaoChong are very, very good, but... well, that's all they do; and I don't somehow think of pizza as 'bar food'; and it's pretty much impossible to get one unless you go down there early evening before they get too busy.]

Best Place To Drink While Eating

Winners:  Fodder Factory, Home Plate BBQ

Runner-up:  Biteapitta

The Russian places - Traktirr and White Knights - have rather dropped off my circuit this year, as the drinking buddies who used to like to eat there have left... and as the quality of service and portion sizes has progressively dwindled. Fodder Factory feels like a little bit of a cheat, because it's impossible to get to, outside the city limits. But it is a great place to get sloshed over/after a meal: come for an early dinner, stay for 4 or 5 hours! Home Plate is a major arrival on the scene this year, and might have won in the 'Best Bar Food' category... if it actually had a bar. Definitely a great place to suck back a few cold ones before, during, or after a light meal, though - especially when it's warm enough to sit outside on the sidewalk. I frittered away a few weekend afternoons there during this year's mild autumn. My one gripe with the place is that they try to stock too many beers in one tiny fridge, and thus invariably run out of the beer you want - or run out of cold ones, anyway - very quickly. Biteapitta continues to be one of the only places around Sanlitun that regularly draws me back for its food.


Best Place To Go For A Cocktail

Winner:  Flamme

Runners-up:  Mai, MaoMaoChong

Flamme, for me, continues to be head-and-shoulders above the competition, even now that Paul Mathew has transitioned from being a hands-on manager to an occasional supervisor/consultant/'guest barman'. He's trained up the charming Coco and Sophie very well, and his recipes are the best in town. I know Twilight is very good too, and I'm sure George's and Migas are as well; but they have insufficient magic to entice me into a long cab ride across town. Apothecary is too expensive and too up itself; I haven't been there in over a year, but nothing I hear from others encourages me to give it another chance. MaoMaoChong is a great resource to have in my neighbourhood, but most of their mixes tend towards being too sweet for my taste (I prefer their winter specials - when hot'n'sweet is what you want to keep the cold and the 'Beijing throat' at bay! - to their summer ones). MMC may have some serious competition now, with newcomer Mai having just opened up in an even nicer hutong space (and even nearer to my apartment!).


Best Place For Sitting Outside

Winner:  Home Plate BBQ

Runner-Up:  Alba

Still rather a limited category for me, alas. Hutong restaurants with outside seating are still woefully few and far between after the Olympic crackdown on sidewalk 'clutter'. There aren't many bars with decent rooftops in my 'hood any more, either. I gather there are lots of fancy-schmancy places with terraces around Sanlitun and Gongti these days, but they're probably all a bit out of my price bracket, and I don't like that part of town anyway. The outside seating area is Home Plate's main attraction (see above under 'Best Place To Drink While Eating'), but they had a lot of hassles with the local chengguan arbitrarily shutting that down during their early months; let's hope we'll be free of those interruptions next year. I find the food at Alba, apart from the desserts, mostly fairly uninspiring; but it does have a great roof terrace, and is thus a fairly regular weekend brunch spot whenever the sun shines.

Best Happy Hour

Winner: Flamme

It's got a bit shorter (finishing at 7.30pm rather than 8pm now). They've never been very good at advertising when their special promotions are on (has that 'all day happy hour' or 'extended happy hour' on Tuesdays been completely discontinued now??). Things are getting a wee bit more expensive (the 330ml of draft Stella has sneaked up from 25 to 30 rmb). And they've recently introduced a cover charge too (an utterly trivial 10rmb, but it still rankles slightly). However, it is the only proper Happy Hour in the city: half price on everything - including the superb cocktails. Nothing else comes close.

Runners-up: The Den, Mississippi

The Den deserves kudos for having the longest-running and most consistent Happy Hour. I think they've moved the start time back from 4pm to 5pm, but basically it's been exactly the same deal ever since I came here: half-price, or very nearly half-price, on very nearly everything. Mrs Hippy (as I like to think of it) only knocks off about a third of the price for its Happy Hour tariff, but it's already a bit cheaper than The Den on its regular tariff. It has the additional advantage of being much less well-known (and is thus often virtually deserted). And its Happy Hour runs from 4pm to 11pm (which I feel is really a bit too long; but if you want to get completely lashed for as little as possible, this is the place).

Least Surprising Closure

Winner: July's

The second most awful and consistently customer-free bar on Nanluoguxiang has finally succumbed to economic realities. Wiggly Jiggly's, however, somehow still shambles on.

Worst Bar

Winner: The Stumble Inn
Which also, oddly enough, won 'Best Bar' in The Beijinger's (rigged??) poll earlier this year. There's no accounting for taste! I've hardly been in this year, so dismal an impression did it make on me in its opening six months; however, no-one I've spoken to who has visited more recently has anything good to say about it. Food, prices, and service all seem to provide regular sources of complaint. And it's upstairs in a mall.

Runner-up: Drei Kronen
How does this overpriced Bavarian theme-park keep going???

Additional Runner-up: BeerMania
In the old days, it was unassuming, it had no delusions of grandeur. The original space was at least cosy, projected a sort of ramshackle charm. The new, vastly expanded venue has the ambience of a college cafeteria. The beer list is irrationally long, and overpriced - and, of course, none of the staff knows how much anything costs!


Award in Perpetuity for Consistent Vileness

Centro
I always do this, to open up the 'Worst Bar' category for other contenders.... I have found Centro's inadequacies, year after year, across the board, in every aspect of its operation (bad layout, bad decor, bad acoustics, bad service, weak drinks, exorbitant prices) to be just flabbergasting. I don't understand how a place can be so bad for so long - and still have any customers. I assume it only attracts businessmen staying at the Kerry Hotel of which it is part, newbies who don't know any better, and well-to-do idiots who are so wedded to familiar home comforts that they want to spend all their time in a Western hotel bar even though it's a very poor Western hotel bar. It had looked like it might have closed for good this year (it's now getting its arse kicked by other bar options in the CBD, especially upscale club Xiu); but, after a long 'refurbishment' hiatus, it's now back again - and almost certainly as DISMAL as ever.

Most Sadly Missed Departures of the Year

Winner:  No. 8 Beer Garden
Although, in fact, this little-known open-air terrace beside Gongti Beimen may perhaps have foundered in 2010; we had such a shitty summer I didn't get over to Gongti much last year (and I was distracted by the World Cup, and a bad back, and a spell off alcohol: so, scarcely had a summer at all). I only noticed the site had been redeveloped into a restaurant five or six months ago.

Runners-up: Ned's, Reef (?)
Yes, very sad to see the cheery little Aussie cubby-hole on Nanluoguxiang disappear - although I gather Stevo made a tidy sum on the buyout; good on him. And, oh my god, Reef is gone?? I just noticed last night that it's been gutted - don't yet know what the story is there. But it looks bad. (Ah, luckily Reef is safe: it  was just an unexpected and extensive renovation job.)



In the music scene, of course, we've had little but bad news, with some of Beijing's best - and most fun - bands, Black Cat Bone, The Amazing Insurance Salesmen, the No Name Trio, and Rustic (at least, as we have known them till now) all calling it a day, and Ziyo/Free The Birds looking moribund.

The demise of long-time Lido favourite, Tom's DVD Store, was also a sorry blow.

And on a personal note, I said goodbye to JK, the creator of best bar in Beijing, 12 Square Metres, and to KP, my oldest friend in China. A very sad year.


Party of the Year

Winner:  The inaugural 'dazeFEAST at 2 Kolegas
Food, booze, friends, music, and perfect weather. Badr and Ruby are now honour-bound (and goaded by death threats) to make this an annual event.

Runner-up: Nick Bonner's b'day bash at Great Leap Brewing
The Koryo Tours supremo is an all-around top bloke, and the surprise party for his birthday (50th?? Surely not?!) at the end of September drew an exceptionally diverse and jolly crowd.

Find of the Year

Winner:  Mai
In its first few weeks of 'soft opening', Mai really was almost impossible to find. The door to the street was usually not open, and sometimes not unlocked (even when it was supposed to be). The first time I went in, I'm not sure if he even had the red lanterns up. And then the lanterns were tiny, easy to ignore; the place looked like it might be a restaurant, if it was anything. I rather miss that initial speakeasy vibe - now Jeff's put an illuminated sign outside, he'll be starting to attract riff-raff.

Runner-up:  Za Jia
Not actually that hard to find, but the absence of a sign outside makes it possible to wander past without noticing it on your first visit.


There were many others too, ultimately less worthy but intriguing oddities nonetheless.

Most Promising New Bar

Winners:  Mai, Za Jia
Both have marvellous hutong spaces (though Za Jia has the richer decor, the warmer ambience), both are indecently convenient to where I live (though Mai has the advantage on that, since my move in November), both have very cool owners. It's pretty well impossible to choose between them at the moment. Although I suspect that, if Mai fully lives up to its promise (it's only a month old, for heaven's sake!), it will edge out all rivals next year - for its fine selection of imported beers and its very good and reasonably priced cocktails.

Runners-up:  The James Joyce, Temple, Modernista

Modernista is a bit too airy and European in flavour for my taste; but it looks to be aiming to put on a good number of live music shows, and may well establish itself as a decent alternative to Salud. Temple is grungy and also does live music shows, yet somehow it's failing to call to me - perhaps not grungy enough? Or not cheap enough? It has the potential to become the best dive bar in the district (er, the only dive bar...), but I'm doubtful whether it will realise this. The James Joyce is a very welcome new alternative to The Den, The Tree, and Paddy O'Shea's; but its charming Malaysian landlady is its strongest card. No ambience has yet developed there, the service is haphazard, and the food is so crazily expensive that nobody ever orders any. However, it's still early days. We must keep our fingers crossed for it.


Barperson of the Year

Winners:  Coco and Sophie at Flamme
(See above, under 'Best Place To Go For A Cocktail')

Bar Owner of the Year

Winners:  Michael and Lauren of 12 Square Metres
I had been distraught at the prospect of losing both my favourite bar - second home! - of the last three years and its owner, JK, who had become one of my best mates. But I have to say, Mike and Lauren have proven to be superb replacements, far better than we could ever have dared to hope. They're an absolutely charming pair; and, in many ways, the bar is actually a little better than before. They're exerting themselves rather more to drum up new custom (a monthly Book Club, occasional movie nights and live music performances, a whisky tasting, a theme party for Halloween); and their own - small but very diverse - circle of friends has given us a much-needed infusion of new blood.

Runner-up:  Chad of Fubar and Grinders
Grinders has failed to impress me, and I'm a very irregular visitor to Fubar these days; but you have to give the big guy credit for managing to run two successful bars simultaneously. He's one of the most astute operators on the Beijing scene (though again, that's not necessarily high praise).


Bar of the Year

Winner:  Fubar
To be honest, I've hardly gone there this year, compared to my frequency of visits when it first opened. But I like it a whole lot better since the 2010 remodelling; it's much cosier, and that mezzanine is a great use of space. It is now about the only bar in Sanlitun/Gongti that could tempt me to cross town; the only place that always seems to have a good crowd in, mid or late evening; the only place that seems to be invariably well spoken off by a broad mix of people. Yet again, it seems Mr Lager is doing a lot of things right. [Ooops! I hope I'm not becoming a jinx, but... only a couple of weeks after this, Chad suffered a major falling out with the other investors, and appears to have been ousted from the bar. I fear that means that the bar will soon be in the toilet - because, frankly, Chad was the main reason to go there: it was his personality that lifted the place above mediocrity, and his watchful eye that kept the staff doing their jobs right. Whenever he wasn't around, the service was just a shambles. He was also solely responsible for sourcing keen promotional deals with various high-end spirits suppliers, and ensuring the authenticity of all the stock. I'm not at all optimistic about Fubar's prospects without him. Very sad news.]

Runners-up:  Er, many, and none. I am reluctant to revisit past selections in this category - although 12 Square Metres, Salud, Amilal, El Nido, and the Pool Bar are all still exerting their charm. I considered the supposedly likeliest 'contenders' - mostly notably El Nido, First Floor, and Great Leap Brewing - in this post a few weeks back. Though several places have created a lot of buzz for one reason or another, none of them, for my money, has been an unequivocal success.

I suppose many people would put MaoMaoChong (City Weekend's 'Bar of the Year' winner) in the frame as well. Much as I love the place, I somehow just never think of it as 'a bar'. It still, for me, has more of a bistro feel, even though they've given up the idea of positioning themselves as a pizzeria (what with the hopeless constraints of that tiny kitchen and the completely inadequate two-at-a-time oven). Their spirits and cocktail selections are great, but the beer list is very limited; and I can't see myself giving my top award to a place that doesn't have anything on draught. Maybe next year I might rethink - I almost feel they need a special category all of their own!

There we have it. Any comments, queries, abuse??

A prime example of how Yugong manages to stuff everything up

Last Monday, I went to the execrable Yugong Yishan music bar to try to catch the highly regarded visiting Tuvan folk band, Huun-Huur-Tu.

Despite the somewhat eclectic nature of the music, and the high door fee being asked, and it being a traditionally slow Monday night... the place was packed. Well, they're Mongols, you see; or cousins of the Mongols, anyway. And Mongolian music has a huge following in Beijing, amongst the numerous Mongolians here, and a good many Han Chinese too, as well as laowai world music dilettantes like myself. So, the place was somewhere BEYOND packed out: evidently, no cap had been set on ticket sales, and the number of punters was way above any kind of reasonable estimate of the venue's capacity - there must have been at least 1,500 people in a space that can't readily accommodate half that number.  It wasn't comfortable, it wasn't safe, and there was no chance of actually seeing the band on stage.

I think that was probably the biggest crowd I've ever seen there. At a few other unreasonably packed out events I've been to, it has still been possible to slowly wriggle your way down towards the stage at the front, or at least to a point in the middle of the room near the sound desk whence you can catch the odd glimpse of the performers. On this occasion, there was no wriggle room at all: bodies were jammed together densely, four or five deep behind the sound desk - no-one was going anywhere.  And - with no crush barriers and no emergency exits - any attempt to push through a crowd that thick might have resulted in a very nasty incident indeed.

There was at least a large video screen displaying the stage on the side-wall near the bar; but that's a pretty piss-poor alternative to the live show you've come to see. And the crowd was even more talkative than usual, producing a clamorous babble that made it impossible to enjoy the music (and probably made it difficult or impossible for the musicians even to hear themselves play - I've seen that happen several times before at that place, especially with acoustic groups). I'm glad I caught a little bit of excellent local folk band Dawanggang before the crowd got even more packed, even NOISIER. There just wasn't any point in staying around to try to try to hear the main act.

And that was a pity, because they are really very, very good. Check out the video below, a piece called Chiraa-Khoor (er, something about horses, I think).

This is the curse of Yugong: they consistently manage to turn a potentially great night into complete SHIT. Any band with such a large potential following as Huun-Huur-Tu (and that includes pretty much any overseas band of any note at all) should book Tango instead.

There's lots more of this band (together nearly 20 years now) on YouTube. 

Top Five Reasons Why Yugong Yishan SUCKS

A topical curmudge for my latest 'Top Five' list: a dissection of the inadequacies of my least favourite music venue in Beijing.

The Top Five Reasons Why Yugong Yishan SUCKS

5)  Terrible space

That room is just too goddamned LONG. A shallower and wider space is better for a rock venue, so that most of the crowd can get close to the stage, even if they're pushed off to the wings a bit. The elevations seem wrong too (as I've observed before): the stage is just a little bit too high, making you feel rather cut off from the performers even if you are right down the front, while the rear part of the room is much too high, putting you rather above the level of the stage.

4)  Awful acoustics

The high, gabled roof - and the ceiling space made even more irregular by transverse roof beams and one or two skylights - make it inevitable that (even with the best sound system in the world, and the best sound engineer - and Yugong has never been able to boast this either) there are going to be frequent areas of 'muddiness' in the sound. Add to that the room being much too big, and the wrong shape... and having no damping on the walls or the ceilings (they've conducted numerous half-hearted experiments with things like velvet drapes over the walls [that helped - why did they give up on it?]; what they really need is some heavy egg-boxing on the roof, and foam or at least thick wallpaper on the walls)... and there always being an horrendous background din from the bar area at the rear. The sound at Yugong is often DIRE. Rock bands can usually get away with it: it's relatively easy to balance up the sound deck for a basic bass, guitars, drums, and vocals combination, and if it's LOUD enough, the loss of detail in the sound and the tinny echo aren't going to matter so much; you can even drown out (or intimidate into silence!) the infernal background chatterers. But acoustic performances - or quieter electric ones - just don't work at all at the new Yugong.

3)  Dreadful bar

Time was when at least the Long Island Iced Tea provided reasonable value, and included mostly non-fake booze. Everything else was too bloody expensive. And mostly fake. Now, EVERYTHING IS FAKE - and poisonous. They seem to have given up on trying to make much money off the bar; the last few times I've been, almost no-one has been buying anything from it. A lot of people are smuggling stuff in from outside; a lot of people are nipping outside for xiaomaibu beers between bands (the advantage of a generous readmissions policy); a lot of people are just going dry during the show, and then heading off elsewhere to slake their thirst as soon as a band is finished. 

2)  No sense of community

The original incarnation of Yugong Yishan - in the infamous Gongti Car Park - had a show of some sort 4 or 5 nights a week, often of a rather haphazard or impromptu nature, sometimes just a jam. It was the kind of place where musicians would drop by, just to see what was on, and maybe get up on stage to play a little unadvertised set. In those days, Gouzi or his wife Doro were almost always behind the bar themselves (I never see them at the new place any more); and they had a small team of regular staff helping them out (I used to drop in quite often just to play pool with their main barman on slow nights); now, I seldom recognise anyone there - I suspect it's a bit of a revolving door for the bar staff. A lot of the problem is that godawful bar: the new place is not somewhere anyone - musician or punter - would go just to hang out. But I think it's mainly down to the nature of the venue itself; whereas the first Yugong was a music bar - which, thanks to its central location, readily became a favoured meeting place for everyone involved in the local music scene - this second, much larger space has become purely a special events venue. It's lost the intimacy, the friendly welcome, the cosy charm - it's lost all character.  If you want to keep up with the local rock scene now, you go to MAO Live House. If you want to hang out with musicians in a dive bar and hope to catch an impromptu show, you go to 2 Kolegas. You only go to Yugong for a big out-of-town or overseas act, and you don't care about the sound being a bit shit because it's your only chance to see them.

But the No. 1 thing that pisses me off about the new Yugong is....

1)  Annoying clientele

Because of this much larger space and the focus on visiting foreign acts, we tend to get some much bigger crowds at Yugong now. And, for most shows, they are predominantly foreigners (local fans just can't afford the high door fees now being charged). And a particularly irritating, pretentious, posey variety of foreigner, at that. And they will TALK the whole bloody time! Partly, again, it's down to the nature of the space - the long, raised rear part of the room being too removed from the stage, and the seating area further encouraging people to ignore the bands and get lost in their own little world of conversation (even the first Yugong suffered from this a bit: sofas arranged booth-style in one corner - and the small pool playing area in the rear - encouraged people to zone out from the music and start chattering loudly). But also, I think, it's a cultural shift: young people today have no manners! And affluent young professionals go there because they think it's a trendy place to gather on a weekend night, a place to see and be seen - before heading off to a nightclub somewhere. Whatever the reasons for it, it's quite insufferable: whether the crowd is large or small, exclusively foreign or largely Chinese, the background chatter in the damn place invariably spoils the music.

Yugong Yishan is celebrating its "7th birthday" tonight (a cheat: the original venue was founded 7 years ago, but there was no continuity - either temporally (the original space closed down 2 or 3 months before the new one opened) or thematically - between the two venues; the new, CRAPPY Yugong is not yet 4 years old). I will not be going.

I'm not sure that I will ever be going again. I have seldom had an experience there that was not profoundly disappointing, and lately I have been finding myself reluctant to go there even to see bands that I really like (DH & The Hellcats, Dirty Deeds) because I fear that even the very best bands may fail to transcend the extreme suckiness of the environment.

If I were a visting overseas or out-of town musician, I would choose to play MAO Live House - for a better atmosphere and a much, much, much better sound experience. (Or, if I felt a could draw a crowd of >400 people, I'd play at Tango. Or, if I doubted I could draw a crowd of >100 or so, I'd play at 2 Kolegas. Or, if thought I might not draw a crowd of more than a couple of dozen, I'd play at What Bar. For a mid-sized gig, I might even consider playing at Mako Live or The One, which are great venues, but, unfortunately, way out in the sticks. I would never, never, never play at Yugong Yishan.

Perverse nostalgia

I happened to be walking along Gulou Dongdajie at something after 10pm last night, past the new Guitar Bar, when I heard the all too familiar strains of El Condor Pasa blaring out of the doorway.

That tune, more than any other on their completely unvarying set list of plodding, elevator-muzak 'classics', got to bug the crap of me when they were at their tiny original location half-way down Nanluoguxiang - because it seemed to be be always what they were playing when I was heading down to my local, 12 Square Metres, in the mid-evening.

They seem to have shunted back their playlist by an hour or so (it was usually around 9.15 or 9.20 that I'd encounter the song in those days), but otherwise things at the Guitar Bar are EXACTLY THE SAME.

And you know what? For a moment, I found myself thinking, "Ah, that... I almost miss that!"

It's a funny thing, nostalgia: memory-triggers give us a warm feeling, even if the memory they summon is not a positive one; it's as if the mere act of remembering somehow gives us pleasure.

Well, the set list at The Guitar Bar is exactly the same. The amount of custom has dropped off substantially. Or perhaps it's just that 6 people might have looked like a decent crowd in that cramped original venue, but in the new, much larger space it seems pitiful. Nightly live music was a unique offering on Nanluoguxiang until recently, and there's such a huge amount of foot traffic down that street that you're always going to attract in a fair few curious punters with something like that, no matter how crassly the music is done or how crap your bar is in other respects. This doesn't seem to be true on Gulou Dongdajie, even though it is only just around the corner. The street is very nearly as busy, but it's a completely different demographic: mostly locals rather than tourists, mostly not very affluent, mostly interested in the cheap Chinese restaurants along the street rather than a 'Western nightlife' kind of experience.  The potential walk-by custom for a bar, I would surmise, is chiefly foreigners - on their way to Amigo or Amilal, or shuttling between Nanluoguxiang and the trendy Fangjia and Wudaoying hutongs off nearby Angdingmennei street - people who would not touch the Guitar Bar with a bargepole.

It's a pity, because it is a very nice space and a promising location. Vulture time, I think: I shall continue to monitor how dismal their custom is, and perhaps prepare to move in with a buy-out offer...