Top Five Beijing bars I miss

I'm surprised I haven't got around to doing this list before. I really must do it now, since I'm shuttering the blog, and planning to move on from Beijing. In ten years of drinking here, there have only been a handful of bars that I developed a real fondness for; and - such is the way of this crazy city - most of them only lasted a year or so.

Froog's Top Five Defunct Beijing Bars

5)  Handsome Café

In around about 2004, this was the only bar I'd go into around Sanlitun. An awful name, but it had a good vibe: cheap'n'cheerful, with friendly owners. It lasted barely a year, I think. There's something jinxed about that space (the semi-basement below what is now Luga's Villa); despite its very central location, nothing in that building ever seems to prosper.

4)  Yugong Yishan (the original one)

I had a lot more work over on the east side of town in those days ('04-'07, I suppose), so I was quite often passing through the Sanlitun/Gongti area in the evenings mid-week, and whenever I was, I would invariably look in on the cosy YGYS to see if anything was going on. Even if there wasn't (Tuesdays were almost always dead), I'd stop to play a few games of pool with the barman.

3)  Room 101

Some readers might have expected this one to rank higher, since it was my principal resort through much of 2008. However, it was always struggling for direction (haphazard in its food offerings, its 'happy hour' promotions, its staging of live music, and other intermittent special events), and never looked likely to endure for long - particularly after Olly came on board in the early summer and convinced the other partners to try to make it more of a restaurant. The tiny stage in the corner was kind of fun. It had a beautiful little island bar - the only one I can remember in Beijing. It had a great music selection (much of it dictated by - and, indeed, donated by - me and my main drinking buddy of that year, Crazy Chris). And, for a while, it had the cheapest draught Stella in the city. But I really only dug the place during the few months when my old pal Jackson Bai was running the bar.

2)  B2M (aka 'The Moatside')

The first - and best - of many out-of-the-way hobby bars I've happened upon over the years, and subject of one of my earliest posts on here. It was tiny, difficult to find, far off the beaten track - and only survived on the custom of friends of the owners. But it was a homely little space, and a regular hangout during the '03-'04 winter. The Chairman and I gave some very serious consideration to taking it over when its original begetters, an Australian girl and her Chinese fiancé, departed on their epic bike ride from Beijing to Melbourne (the source of the bar's cryptic name).

But in the top spot we have...

1)  Huxley's

Its second incarnation on Yandai Xiejie, that is. Yes, of course, it's still there. But, really, it's NOT. Nowadays, the booze is mostly fake, the staff are charmless and often downright surly, and the clientele is mostly tourists or American high schoolers (it seems to have become the Houhai counterpart of the horrendous Pure Girl). It has lost the unique ambience that made it the best bar in the city during its first couple of years ('05-'07), when Jackson Bai was running it. Ah, I miss those days. I miss being serenaded by that Norwegian girl who was an operatically-trained semi-professional singer. I miss discussing the future of the planet with a young German climate change scientist. I miss wooing The Poet there (and then losing her again!). I miss staying up all night in there with Nick O'Pix and Tennessee Tom. I miss the free shooters that Jackson would dispense whenever it appeared that we weren't getting drunk fast enough. If they'd had draught beer, and if Jackson had stayed there a bit longer, that place would have been my favourite Beijing bar of all time; as it is, it's only just behind 12 Square Metres and the Pool Bar (which, mercifully, are still with us... though perhaps not for very much longer).

After-crawl

I only put myself through 15 hours of shopping and 15 hours of prep in the kitchen to distract myself from too much brooding on decay and death at the end of last week. The real party happened afterwards - the dwindling gaggle of 'survivors' migrating around the Gulou area: Chill, Mai, 12 Square Metres, Salud, and, finally, of course, the Pool Bar. 

It was nearly dawn when I got home. Well, it was dawn when I woke up on the infamous Man-Eating Sofa.

And then Sunday was one of those wretched grey drizzly days: when I got up at noon to begin tidying up, I swear it was darker than when I'd gone to bed. After another heavy night last night (rum specials at MaoMaoChong, and making a first dent in the ridiculously generous tab The Choirboy left for me at 12SQM), I am now thoroughly jet-lagged. I fear it's going to take me at least a few days to get back in the right timezone!

Gosh, has it really been FIVE years??!!

Well, no, not for me, it hasn't. Apart from a few brief exploratory and fairly unmemorable visits in the spring of their first year, I didn't start hanging out in 12 Square Metres until the occasion of their 1st Anniversary Party - four years ago today.

From that day on, though, it quickly became a central part of my life. God, at times I really don't know what I would have done without it. Left China, probably....

Anyway, the talk of leaving China is rather more urgent and earnest now for nearly all of us; and, given the way Nanluoguxiang is going, the bar itself surely can't last another year.... so, today we're going to party like it's THE END OF THE WORLD. Because it is, kind of. Very nearly the end of an era, anyway, an important and fondly remembered period of my life.

I've been having a bit of a nostalgic wallow in the songs of The Beautiful South lately, having rediscovered a couple of their early albums while I was on holiday last month. This has long been a quirky favourite of mine, from their Blue Is The Colour album: it's Paul Heaton having a bit of fun with a Tom Waits impression (both in the lyrical style and the vocal delivery) - Liar's Bar. I've been looking for this on YouTube for years, but it's only recently started appearing. This is a rather good live performance from a short-lived Channel 4 music programme of the mid-90s called The White Room.

These lines seem particularly resonant when I think of the odd community of waifs and strays our little bar has attracted over the years. Indeed, they might well be my own epitaph! [Full lyrics here.]

He's a worldwide traveller
He's not like me or you
But he comes in mighty regular
For one who's passing through

HBH 286

Our loves go with us,

Great bars linger in the heart;

There's no leaving them.

This might be my last ever 'Haiku Bar' haiku from Beijing. I am planning to come back for a few months at the end of the year, but that idea is likely to get kicked into touch if Chinese visa policy continues as restrictive as it is at the moment.... or if (probably much less likely) I manage to find myself a decent job somewhere else in the interim.

I have a rich stock of memories to take away with me... although very few bars here have attained to 'greatness': the Yandai Xijie Huxley's in its first couple of years; the original Yugong Yishan; Dos Kolegas and Jianghu before they got popular; Amilal and the Pool Bar and 12 Square Metres. That's it.

Still, that's much better than I'd expected before I came here. And much, much, much, much better than any other city in China could have offered - Shanghai included. Yes, many fond memories to treasure.

Top Five Things We Miss From JK's Playlist

While I am, in general, more than happy with the way things have been going at my 'local' 12 Square Metres under the stewardship of MB and LJ over the past 8 months, particularly in regard to the music selection, which is now leaning much more heavily towards the 'Classic Rock' category, and is further enriched by a slew of early rock'n'roll hits from the 1950s donated by LJ's parents... well, even so, I do often miss my old mucker, the Aussie arch-curmudgeon JK, who founded this bar and built it into the beloved institution it is. I even miss some of the quirky - often downright cheesy - oddities that somehow used to come up oh-so-frequently on the rotation when it was JK who ruled the i-Tunes.

Here, then, is a tribute to my departed friend and his notorious 'Jiushifu' playlist.

I might have begun with something by the B-52s; but we only had Roam, Love Shack, and Rock Lobster, which really are very irritating. Any affection we had for these was based purely on the tradition created by Dr Manhattan and myself that we would have a round of B-52 shots whenever one of the irksome songs came on. And in fact, these three songs - serially excised from the playlist (with Rock Lobster being the first to go!) by JK, who grew fed up of them faster than the punters - have somehow begun to make very occasional reappearances on the roster of late.

I would also have been tempted to nominate Nobody Likes A Bogan by Australian ska band Area-7, but I've already done a post on that.

So, here's what we've got....

The Top Five JK Songs We Most Miss at 12 Square Metres

5)  Kokomo

I hadn't realised until now that this was written especially for the Tom Cruise film Cocktail in 1988. I kind of prefer The Muppets' version of this (and then there's this hilarious spoof by American radio comedians Bob & Tom), but it was The Beach Boys' original that we used to hear all the time down at the bar.

4)  America Sucks!

OK, this scathing song from Montreal band GrimSkunk was more part of occasional barman Big Nige's  (metal and punk oriented) playlist, a few of the highlights of which we managed to smuggle on to the general roster of tunes. Nige would often use it as an affectionate wind-up for our Yankee regular through much of 2010, Sister Surly.

3)  One Night In Bangkok

Ah, Murray Head - what else did he ever do? Well, nothing that famous, apart from the concept album that preceded the Benny Andersson/Björn Ulvaeus/Tim Rice musical Chess, from which this unlikely worldwide hit was spawned in 1984. (I note that Australia was one of the countries where it made the No. 1 spot in the charts; they've always had a special weakness for Abba down under! In the UK this song failed to break into the Top 10.)

2)  Escape (The Pina Colada Song)

Rupert Holmes' insidiously memorable tale of attempted infidelity was again a No. 1 in Australia (hence, perhaps, JK's exaggerated affection for it), and in the USA and Canada, but stalled at No. 23 in the UK charts. I think I'd only been briefly and very dimly aware of it on its first release, but as soon as I heard it again in the bar thirty years later, I felt as if I'd heard it a million times. And within another year or two, I probably had!

Ah, but the winner is....

1)  Frontier Psychiatrist

I'd never heard of The Avalanches before (an Australian band, wouldn't you know it?!), and I'm not usually very open to the heavy use of samples, but damn, this song is clever, and fun. This is the only track in this selection that I really do MISS. [The original - rather less kooky! - version of the video is here.]

   
Extra Special Bonus: How did I forget about this one? Sexchikane - an irresistibly jaunty little calypso number about sexual harassment from Danish party band Shu-bi-dua.  

A Top Five Double Whammy - all-nighters and succumbing to slumber

Since I am contemplating an imminent - and possibly permanent - departure from Beijing, I have been reminiscing about the 'good times' had here in the past, and two related 'Top Five' themes occurred to me in regard to my experiences in bars here.

First, a list of the bars in which I've seen the sun come up, or, more accurately, from which I have emerged into the grey light of dawn.

Top Five Beijing Bars Where I've Seen The Dawn Come Up

5=)  Club Football

This somehow hardly seems to count, since it was a place where one only went to watch the climax of the football season - Champions League games not winding up until 4.30 or 5 in the morning! I do miss it, though: the best - the only decent - sports bar I've known in Beijing; and it had the best pub grub too. I probably had more of those stumbling home at dawn experiences on exiting from Club Football than from anywhere else.

5=)  RBL

Ah, but it's not the quantity but the quality of the all-night experience that really matters. This ill-conceived restaurant-bar-"lounge" project just off Wangfujing didn't survive very long, but I went there half a dozen or so times for music events in its spacious cellar bar. And on one of those occasions, I completely lost track of time talking to a gorgeous young woman and, finding it daylight outside when we finally left, we went to Gui Jie to get some breakfast together. This is a tale that deserves a fuller telling one day - in the 'Great Dating Disasters' strand!

4)  Huxley's (Yandai Xijie)

I'm not sure I ever did stay here until quite dawn, but - in that glorious year or so when Jackson Bai was running the place and it was my first 'local' in the Gulou area - I did several times hang out there until 3am or 4am, and find the sky was starting to lighten by the time I'd finished my 20-minute stagger home. Indeed, one such occasion provided the substance of one of my first-ever posts on here. (I do miss those glory days of Huxley's. It's odd how you can miss something that much more acutely when it's still there, but has now turned to shit.)

3)  The Den

Again, I have reservations that this doesn't fully qualify, since The Den is not the kind of place where one would spend an entire evening (it's too bloody expensive when the 'happy hour' runs out at 10pm), but an enticing final stop - especially for an 'early breakfast' - after a long night of debauch elsewhere.

2)  Amilal

About the only place where you can see the dawn come up while you're still drinking, sitting outside in the little courtyard... Alus curled up asleep on a bench, The Weeble wobbling, The Poet suggesting one more drink...

1)  The Pool Bar

Probably the most frequent (non-football-related) of my all-nighter venues, and the one with the richest trove of memories (and memory losses).

And now a list of bars in which I have fallen asleep...

Top Five Beijing Bars In Which I Have Caught Some Zzzzz's

5=)  12 Square Metres

Scarcely eligible, but I wanted to give it a mention: this was a calculated recharging (quite early in the evening!) in one of the comfy chairs rather than an uncontrolled lapse - which is really supposed to be the theme here.

5=)  Amilal

Only once, only briefly (darn, those armchairs are so comfortable!) - but Alus will never let me forget it.

4)  Reef

Head down on one of the tables outside, for almost the entire duration of one of England's games in the 2006 World Cup. After that experience, I realised I needed to go and see my buddy The British Cowboy in America, so that I could watch the second half of the tournament in a more amenable timezone.

3)  The Den

Hasn't everybody fallen asleep in The Den at least once? That's what it's there for, a temporary haven when you're too tired to go home. I've never been all that fond of the place, but my buddy Big Frank would often drag me there at the end of a long evening's session, and once or twice he managed to exhaust my stamina so completely that I just folded my arms on the table - in the approved style of Chinese office workers everywhere - and gave in to a nice long zzzzz.

2)  Suzie Wong's 

The most unlikely entry on the list, since I would not normally be caught dead in this pretentious and painfully expensive 'nightclub'. Indeed, my impromptu snooze there may have been the occasion of my last visit, and that is some 6 years ago now. It was the farewell bar crawl for my buddy Big Frank (how have I not yet got around to writing up that epic session??), who used to live just over the road from Suzie's in the Green Lake Gardens apartments. We had started at the (old) Goose & Duck, abusing their 4pm-8pm 'happy hour' with numerous draught beers and Jack Daniel's chasers. Frank insisted on checking out Suzie's next. I think it was a Monday, the place was deserted, and we didn't stay very long - just long enough for me to lay my head down on the bar and get in 15 minutes' shut-eye.

1)  The Pool Bar

The most spectacular and abject of my rare public surrenders to slumber: I once passed out spreadeagled on one of the tables (NOT the pool table, obviously; I have far too much respect) for a full 90 minutes.

I don't think there are many other cities in the world - even in China/East Asia - where this kind of all-night indulgence is such a commonplace event. But perhaps I should go and find out....

For always roving with a hungry heart

A special event at 12 Square Metres tonight: Steven Schwankert, founder of SinoScuba, will be coming along to talk about some of his most interesting dives, and also about the Explorers Club, of which he is a member - a distinction shared with such famous figures as the polar adventurer Roald Amundsen, the astronaut Neil Armstrong, and legendary Kiwi mountaineer Sir Edmund Hillary (above).

I have a particular fondness for Hillary's famous explanation of his reason for taking on Mt Everest - "because it was there."

That restless spirit of curiosity has been a key motivator in my own life - why did I stop into this bar, order that drink, chat up this girl?

[Unfortunately, I am pledged to another event earlier tonight - the old Beijing curse of too much happening, all at the same time - so I will be struggling to get there in time; I hope to at least catch the second half. It promises to be a fascinating little soiréé.]

Just what the doctor ordered!

I hadn't got out to Mai very much since the New Year (well, I haven't got out anywhere very much), but I caught up with owner Jeff there again last week. I was hankering for my favourite of his cocktail offerings, the Penicillin - but the dear chap had a bunch of new stuff he wanted me to try, so I didn't get around to it. The hankering grows stronger. Particularly after my recent dose of 'flu-from-hell.

Penicillin, you see, an invention of celebrated barman Sam Ross, is basically a cold toddy - Scotch whisky with honey, lemon, and ginger. Purists say you should infuse a honey-ginger syrup, but I think Jeff just uses honey and muddled ginger for simplicity. The drink is given an extra layer of sophistication by having a dribble of peaty Laphroaig floated on top (Jeff keeps the price down by using a perfume dispenser to lay a fine mist of the stuff over the top: works magnificently for the aroma, though obviously you're missing a little smokiness in the drink itself).  Served with big rocks of ice and a generous slice of raw ginger (which I quite often find myself eating: I love ginger, especially when it's whisky-infused!), it is heaven in a glass - even if you haven't got a cold.

Reef reborn!

I had been rather alarmed to notice around Christmas time that long-time Nanluoguxiang favourite Reef had abruptly closed and was being completely gutted by builders.

After a couple of weeks, as a new interior began to take shape, I began to recover my hopes that the place was still going to be a bar - instead of a naff boutique, like almost everything else on that strip these days - and, indeed, was perhaps still going to be our beloved Reef.

The place reopened at the start of the Chunjie holiday, and The Choirboy and I embarked on a first joint reconnaissance last week. Thank heavens - it is still Reef! Having exhausted the possibilities of expansion into neighbouring properties, Chen had the bright idea of digging up his floor to create a semi-basement; with the addition of a new mezzanine balcony, this means that he has very nearly doubled his effective seating space within the confines of his original bar. 

I'd been a little sceptical as to how this would turn out, but I have to say the renovation has been done, for the most part, very tastefully. The extravagant chandeliers above the narrow stairway down into the sunken area I could do without; but otherwise the effect is quite classy - dark wood, subdued lighting, decent quality furnishings. The bar itself is a little bigger as well, allowing for the installation of some draught beer taps. It's going to take him a little while to master how to work them, but it is good to have some Stella available in the neighbourhood again - albeit at the somewhat prohibitive price of 40rmb. (We'll have to see how long that lasts. Alba and the Bell & Drum in my locale both tried it for a short while, but gave up again. Over in Sanlitun, Luga's Villa and Fubar gave up on it [although Luga seems to have gone back to it, after a while]. I gather the Stella boys are particularly unreliable in their deliveries.)

The prices remain as keen as ever. And the photographs of the 'Yacht Club', my group of friends who were Chen's hardcore laowai fans in his very early days, have been retained in the rear of the lower section. However, I haven't noticed anything having been done to improve ventilation in there, which, given that the clientele has become almost exclusively Chinese in the last few years (and hence very heavy smoking), is likely to be an even greater problem after this expansion. And the music selection, alas, just keeps getting worse and worse: I suppose it's what the young people like - 'dance music' and rap, at eardrum-popping volumes - but it renders the place insufferable for me. Despite these failings, it remains one of only three bars on NLGX that are worthy of attention - the others, of course, being Salud and 12 Square Metres. 

And I hope we oldtimers will still be able to enjoy a quiet late afternoon or early evening rendezvous once in a while, before it gets too raucous in there.

The Froog Bar Awards - 2011

So, here it is - my fifth annual review of the best and worst of Beijing's bar scene.

I've trimmed things down quite a bit this year, dispensing with a number of categories. Partly, this is reflective of the fact that I've been out much less this past year, and am losing touch with - or interest in - many of the city's newer venues. Partly, though, it's down to the fact that things on the nightlife scene have become a bit static in the last few years. The shit bars remain shit; we're still waiting for the customerless Danger Doyle's and Nanluoguxiang's hilariously bad Wiggly Jiggly's to close; no-one has come up with a dafter bar name than Lafite Exotic English Bar; and so on. It's all the same as last year.

I've also given up the attempt to identify a 'Best Cocktail': the field is just too broad, and I'm not that much of a cocktail drinker.

There are, however, a couple of new categories this time: Least Surprising Closure and Best Happy Hour.

(I was also contemplating separating out the music stuff into a separate post... but, you know what, inertia won out!)


As ever, I aim to provoke (and sometimes, godammit, yes, to offend) as well as to enlighten, so please feel free to pitch in - and bitch in - down below in the comments if you have anything to add in regard to any of these opinions.

Best Live Music Venue

Winner:  What Bar
I am very happy to have rediscovered this out-of-the-way little gem this year, after three or four years of complete neglect. This place certainly ass-whoops the competition in terms of longevity: it celebrated its 9th anniversary (or 8th, or 10th - depending on who you ask) a few months back. To be honest, I go there more for a quiet early evening drink when I'm walking back from Tiananmen than for gigs (which are ill-advertised, but nevertheless - in such a tiny space - often uncomfortably busy); but it has been the scene of a couple of the most fun shows I've been to this year. If you hit the right night - good band, modest crowd - there's nowhere better. And it also trashes the rest of the field for friendliness of welcome: the lady boss there is one of the best laobans in town.

Runners-up: The Bookworm, Jianghu, 13 Club, Hot Cat
I'd passed over The Bookworm in the past, as being only a very occasional venue for music events; but in the past year or so, in addition to Time Out's excellent monthly 'Sunday Salon' series on Chinese and classical music, they've been mounting a pretty regular series of Saturday gigs with a variety of jazz and folk artists - and it's proved to be really a very good venue indeed: decent sound, intimate vibe, attentive audience (pity the draught beer is so AWFUL!).  Jianghu continues to be the most reliable of the venues that are readily accessible to me, and their Tuesday jazz nights have been going particularly well this year. Unfortunately, as they've become better known and their advertising is getting better, it's become impossible to squeeze in there for weekend shows - or whenever there's a major act on. D-22 had got over most of the problems that plagued it in its early years (terrible sound, terrible bar staff), but a couple of Chinese musicians I know have told me that it really seems to have lost its way over the last year or so: just not generating a buzz or drawing many big crowds any more; and now it's about to close. I always preferred the atmosphere of its less laowai-dominated next-door neighbour 13 Club; on those rare occasions when I drag myself up to the Wu, that is. I think 13 is the best venue in the city, but unfortunately is has become almost exclusively a heavy metal club - which is not really my thing. Hot Cat reminds me poignantly of the very first of the Wudaokou music bars, the short-lived, much lamented Loupe Chante: an engagingly cheap and grungy bar that just happens to have some very good rock'n'roll shows occasionally as well. Unfortunately, its programme is still a bit thin, and seldom well-promoted. [I always seem to overlook East Shore Jazz Cafe in this section, because I don't go that often, and it only does jazz; but it is very good.]

Worst Live Music Venue

Winner:  Yugong Yishan

Runner-up:  MAO Live House

2 Kolegas is getting back to winning ways (having trimmed down the outsize speaker stacks that for so long obscured their tiny stage); but their 18 months in the doldrums has completely broken my habit for heading out there. And their programming seems to have become very weak: they can't compete for the bigger names very often any more, so it's the same handful of bands week after week after week. Yugong Yishan continues to disappoint - or appal - with its lousy acoustics and posey, chattersome crowds. I have pretty much given up on the place: I can't imagine a band that could draw me back there now (certainly none of the local outfits; it would have to be someone really BIG). MAO Live House seems to have had some good gigs this year, but almost all in the raw punk or heavy metal categories, which have a strong local following but aren't really my cup of tea. The continued absence of any worthwhile bar or any air-conditioning have meant that I haven't been back there in ages - maybe not this year. Mako Live and The One continue to be much too far away and much too intermittent in their programming to register on many people's radars. Gulou newcomer Temple has been starting to piece together a decent schedule; but unfortunately, it lacks charm as a bar, and its dreadful acoustics restrict its potential as a gig venue. Recent openings Modernista and Beiluo Café show some promise, but are probably only going to be once-or-twice-a-week music spots like Salud, rather than dedicated gig venues. Ditto Za Jia - a great bar, but music is only ever going to be an occasional sideline there. Gulou 121, Zui Yuefang, and Tushuguan continue to be largely wasted opportunities - as, increasingly, is Jiangjinjiu (another place I've scarcely been to all year; a sorry indictment from someone who lives a short walk away, and used to be a weekly visitor). VA Bar I have very mixed feelings about: it has probably had the best regular programme of gigs of any venue this year, but it's such a charmless - often downright unfriendly - bar that I seldom feel it's worth a cover charge.

Best Gig of the Year

Winner:  The Chicago Live! Jazz and Blues Show at CD Blues Café a few weeks ago (part of a week of arts events organised by Booey Lehoo)

Runners-up: The St Patrick's Day gig by Blackwater at Salud, and visiting Norwegian girl band VOM at What Bar in June

Others bubbling under were amiable world music maven Abaji at Jianghu early this year, Ajinai playing at the short-lived Amilal spin-off Aluss in the spring, local folksters Dawanggang opening for Huun-Huur-Tu at Yugong Yishan a few months back and also playing some great stuff at this year's Ditan Folk Festival, Xiao He quite a few times (the best, I think, was his opening for Jeffrey Lewis [see below] at Yugong), and solo Mongolian folk artist Gangzi (probably the most consistently impressive performer around at the moment) quite a few times. Perhaps the most magical evening of all, though, was the one where my old friend David Mitchell gave a low-key solo show on guitar and tambur at Amilal - basically playing just for me and a few friends - during the October holiday week.

I gather The Cranberries were probably the pick of the year's stadium gigs, but I didn't get to see that. Likewise, I didn't really do the festival scene this year, since most of them had been shunted way out of town; Black Rebel Motorcycle Club at the Intercity Music Festival in Chaoyang Park in September provided the one standout open-air music event for me this year. I imagine Cowboy Junkies were as awesome as they always are at the Kama Love Festival in June, but that was the most hideously organised event I've ever been to, and ill health (and raging dehydration: there was NO WATER available!) forced me to quit before they came on - my hugest regret of the century. My second hugest regret is having missed the jam between Black Cat Bone and DH & The Hellcats at Yugong Yishan in September, a collaboration which Beijing Daze memorably dubbed 'Hellbone'! That was, by all accounts, a thoroughly awesome show, and very nearly the last-ever appearance for the now disbanded BCB.


Worst Gig of the Year

Winner:  Jeffrey Lewis at Yugong Yishan in August

This guy appears to aspire to be a sort of Tom Lehrer of the slacker generation, aiming for self-consciously 'clever' lyrics and an arch humour. Unfortunately, he's merely lame and obvious. I observed to BeijingDaze's Ruby at the time that I could imagine being mildly diverted by him for a few songs if we were still in college and he showed up to play for free in our favourite coffee shop. But having to pay top dollar for him at Yugong, my patience was exhausted very quickly: I think I walked out after about 20 minutes. The only consolation of the evening was a little dose of genuinely intelligent weirdness from Xiao He doing the warm-up.

Runner-up:  Gia (reviving the Hang On The Box name) at Hot Cat early in the year

I can't remember exactly when this one took place; it might possibly have been last year. And it's probably not really eligible for 'Worst Gig of the Year' anyway, because there weren't any expectations to disappoint here: everyone knows Gia is a screeching talent-bypass. On this night, the other two bands were OK, so I just stepped outside for most of the 'HOTB' set.

Best Bar Food

Winners:  Flamme, The Den

Runners-up: Luga's, First Floor, The Irish Volunteer

Last year's winner Sand Pebbles has disappointed most times I've been this year. The food is good value, and there are a few things I really like on the menu; but service out of the kitchen is chaotic, and you often wait a long time for something that is barely warmed through. First Floor's grub is a bit variable in quality (AVOID the nachos!), and seriously overpriced; but the steaks, burgers, and ribs are amongst the best to be had (not high praise in Beijing, but...). The Irish Volunteer has some very good dishes (the Thai curries added this year are almost worth the long hike out to Lido on their own), but there's nothing else about the bar that's ever likely to entice me there. Luga's worthy-but-dull burritos, and The Den's reassuringly unchanging and refreshingly affordable menu of bar food standards continue to be front-runners year after year. I feel slightly awkward about giving the top spot to Flamme, since it is really a restaurant rather than a bar, and so its food is naturally a class-and-a-half above any of these other picks. However, it does also have an extremely good bar; and the veggie side-dishes are very reasonably priced. Hence, I find myself more often eating a snack at the bar than sitting down at a table for a full meal. [The pizzas at MaoMaoChong are very, very good, but... well, that's all they do; and I don't somehow think of pizza as 'bar food'; and it's pretty much impossible to get one unless you go down there early evening before they get too busy.]

Best Place To Drink While Eating

Winners:  Fodder Factory, Home Plate BBQ

Runner-up:  Biteapitta

The Russian places - Traktirr and White Knights - have rather dropped off my circuit this year, as the drinking buddies who used to like to eat there have left... and as the quality of service and portion sizes has progressively dwindled. Fodder Factory feels like a little bit of a cheat, because it's impossible to get to, outside the city limits. But it is a great place to get sloshed over/after a meal: come for an early dinner, stay for 4 or 5 hours! Home Plate is a major arrival on the scene this year, and might have won in the 'Best Bar Food' category... if it actually had a bar. Definitely a great place to suck back a few cold ones before, during, or after a light meal, though - especially when it's warm enough to sit outside on the sidewalk. I frittered away a few weekend afternoons there during this year's mild autumn. My one gripe with the place is that they try to stock too many beers in one tiny fridge, and thus invariably run out of the beer you want - or run out of cold ones, anyway - very quickly. Biteapitta continues to be one of the only places around Sanlitun that regularly draws me back for its food.


Best Place To Go For A Cocktail

Winner:  Flamme

Runners-up:  Mai, MaoMaoChong

Flamme, for me, continues to be head-and-shoulders above the competition, even now that Paul Mathew has transitioned from being a hands-on manager to an occasional supervisor/consultant/'guest barman'. He's trained up the charming Coco and Sophie very well, and his recipes are the best in town. I know Twilight is very good too, and I'm sure George's and Migas are as well; but they have insufficient magic to entice me into a long cab ride across town. Apothecary is too expensive and too up itself; I haven't been there in over a year, but nothing I hear from others encourages me to give it another chance. MaoMaoChong is a great resource to have in my neighbourhood, but most of their mixes tend towards being too sweet for my taste (I prefer their winter specials - when hot'n'sweet is what you want to keep the cold and the 'Beijing throat' at bay! - to their summer ones). MMC may have some serious competition now, with newcomer Mai having just opened up in an even nicer hutong space (and even nearer to my apartment!).


Best Place For Sitting Outside

Winner:  Home Plate BBQ

Runner-Up:  Alba

Still rather a limited category for me, alas. Hutong restaurants with outside seating are still woefully few and far between after the Olympic crackdown on sidewalk 'clutter'. There aren't many bars with decent rooftops in my 'hood any more, either. I gather there are lots of fancy-schmancy places with terraces around Sanlitun and Gongti these days, but they're probably all a bit out of my price bracket, and I don't like that part of town anyway. The outside seating area is Home Plate's main attraction (see above under 'Best Place To Drink While Eating'), but they had a lot of hassles with the local chengguan arbitrarily shutting that down during their early months; let's hope we'll be free of those interruptions next year. I find the food at Alba, apart from the desserts, mostly fairly uninspiring; but it does have a great roof terrace, and is thus a fairly regular weekend brunch spot whenever the sun shines.

Best Happy Hour

Winner: Flamme

It's got a bit shorter (finishing at 7.30pm rather than 8pm now). They've never been very good at advertising when their special promotions are on (has that 'all day happy hour' or 'extended happy hour' on Tuesdays been completely discontinued now??). Things are getting a wee bit more expensive (the 330ml of draft Stella has sneaked up from 25 to 30 rmb). And they've recently introduced a cover charge too (an utterly trivial 10rmb, but it still rankles slightly). However, it is the only proper Happy Hour in the city: half price on everything - including the superb cocktails. Nothing else comes close.

Runners-up: The Den, Mississippi

The Den deserves kudos for having the longest-running and most consistent Happy Hour. I think they've moved the start time back from 4pm to 5pm, but basically it's been exactly the same deal ever since I came here: half-price, or very nearly half-price, on very nearly everything. Mrs Hippy (as I like to think of it) only knocks off about a third of the price for its Happy Hour tariff, but it's already a bit cheaper than The Den on its regular tariff. It has the additional advantage of being much less well-known (and is thus often virtually deserted). And its Happy Hour runs from 4pm to 11pm (which I feel is really a bit too long; but if you want to get completely lashed for as little as possible, this is the place).

Least Surprising Closure

Winner: July's

The second most awful and consistently customer-free bar on Nanluoguxiang has finally succumbed to economic realities. Wiggly Jiggly's, however, somehow still shambles on.

Worst Bar

Winner: The Stumble Inn
Which also, oddly enough, won 'Best Bar' in The Beijinger's (rigged??) poll earlier this year. There's no accounting for taste! I've hardly been in this year, so dismal an impression did it make on me in its opening six months; however, no-one I've spoken to who has visited more recently has anything good to say about it. Food, prices, and service all seem to provide regular sources of complaint. And it's upstairs in a mall.

Runner-up: Drei Kronen
How does this overpriced Bavarian theme-park keep going???

Additional Runner-up: BeerMania
In the old days, it was unassuming, it had no delusions of grandeur. The original space was at least cosy, projected a sort of ramshackle charm. The new, vastly expanded venue has the ambience of a college cafeteria. The beer list is irrationally long, and overpriced - and, of course, none of the staff knows how much anything costs!


Award in Perpetuity for Consistent Vileness

Centro
I always do this, to open up the 'Worst Bar' category for other contenders.... I have found Centro's inadequacies, year after year, across the board, in every aspect of its operation (bad layout, bad decor, bad acoustics, bad service, weak drinks, exorbitant prices) to be just flabbergasting. I don't understand how a place can be so bad for so long - and still have any customers. I assume it only attracts businessmen staying at the Kerry Hotel of which it is part, newbies who don't know any better, and well-to-do idiots who are so wedded to familiar home comforts that they want to spend all their time in a Western hotel bar even though it's a very poor Western hotel bar. It had looked like it might have closed for good this year (it's now getting its arse kicked by other bar options in the CBD, especially upscale club Xiu); but, after a long 'refurbishment' hiatus, it's now back again - and almost certainly as DISMAL as ever.

Most Sadly Missed Departures of the Year

Winner:  No. 8 Beer Garden
Although, in fact, this little-known open-air terrace beside Gongti Beimen may perhaps have foundered in 2010; we had such a shitty summer I didn't get over to Gongti much last year (and I was distracted by the World Cup, and a bad back, and a spell off alcohol: so, scarcely had a summer at all). I only noticed the site had been redeveloped into a restaurant five or six months ago.

Runners-up: Ned's, Reef (?)
Yes, very sad to see the cheery little Aussie cubby-hole on Nanluoguxiang disappear - although I gather Stevo made a tidy sum on the buyout; good on him. And, oh my god, Reef is gone?? I just noticed last night that it's been gutted - don't yet know what the story is there. But it looks bad. (Ah, luckily Reef is safe: it  was just an unexpected and extensive renovation job.)



In the music scene, of course, we've had little but bad news, with some of Beijing's best - and most fun - bands, Black Cat Bone, The Amazing Insurance Salesmen, the No Name Trio, and Rustic (at least, as we have known them till now) all calling it a day, and Ziyo/Free The Birds looking moribund.

The demise of long-time Lido favourite, Tom's DVD Store, was also a sorry blow.

And on a personal note, I said goodbye to JK, the creator of best bar in Beijing, 12 Square Metres, and to KP, my oldest friend in China. A very sad year.


Party of the Year

Winner:  The inaugural 'dazeFEAST at 2 Kolegas
Food, booze, friends, music, and perfect weather. Badr and Ruby are now honour-bound (and goaded by death threats) to make this an annual event.

Runner-up: Nick Bonner's b'day bash at Great Leap Brewing
The Koryo Tours supremo is an all-around top bloke, and the surprise party for his birthday (50th?? Surely not?!) at the end of September drew an exceptionally diverse and jolly crowd.

Find of the Year

Winner:  Mai
In its first few weeks of 'soft opening', Mai really was almost impossible to find. The door to the street was usually not open, and sometimes not unlocked (even when it was supposed to be). The first time I went in, I'm not sure if he even had the red lanterns up. And then the lanterns were tiny, easy to ignore; the place looked like it might be a restaurant, if it was anything. I rather miss that initial speakeasy vibe - now Jeff's put an illuminated sign outside, he'll be starting to attract riff-raff.

Runner-up:  Za Jia
Not actually that hard to find, but the absence of a sign outside makes it possible to wander past without noticing it on your first visit.


There were many others too, ultimately less worthy but intriguing oddities nonetheless.

Most Promising New Bar

Winners:  Mai, Za Jia
Both have marvellous hutong spaces (though Za Jia has the richer decor, the warmer ambience), both are indecently convenient to where I live (though Mai has the advantage on that, since my move in November), both have very cool owners. It's pretty well impossible to choose between them at the moment. Although I suspect that, if Mai fully lives up to its promise (it's only a month old, for heaven's sake!), it will edge out all rivals next year - for its fine selection of imported beers and its very good and reasonably priced cocktails.

Runners-up:  The James Joyce, Temple, Modernista

Modernista is a bit too airy and European in flavour for my taste; but it looks to be aiming to put on a good number of live music shows, and may well establish itself as a decent alternative to Salud. Temple is grungy and also does live music shows, yet somehow it's failing to call to me - perhaps not grungy enough? Or not cheap enough? It has the potential to become the best dive bar in the district (er, the only dive bar...), but I'm doubtful whether it will realise this. The James Joyce is a very welcome new alternative to The Den, The Tree, and Paddy O'Shea's; but its charming Malaysian landlady is its strongest card. No ambience has yet developed there, the service is haphazard, and the food is so crazily expensive that nobody ever orders any. However, it's still early days. We must keep our fingers crossed for it.


Barperson of the Year

Winners:  Coco and Sophie at Flamme
(See above, under 'Best Place To Go For A Cocktail')

Bar Owner of the Year

Winners:  Michael and Lauren of 12 Square Metres
I had been distraught at the prospect of losing both my favourite bar - second home! - of the last three years and its owner, JK, who had become one of my best mates. But I have to say, Mike and Lauren have proven to be superb replacements, far better than we could ever have dared to hope. They're an absolutely charming pair; and, in many ways, the bar is actually a little better than before. They're exerting themselves rather more to drum up new custom (a monthly Book Club, occasional movie nights and live music performances, a whisky tasting, a theme party for Halloween); and their own - small but very diverse - circle of friends has given us a much-needed infusion of new blood.

Runner-up:  Chad of Fubar and Grinders
Grinders has failed to impress me, and I'm a very irregular visitor to Fubar these days; but you have to give the big guy credit for managing to run two successful bars simultaneously. He's one of the most astute operators on the Beijing scene (though again, that's not necessarily high praise).


Bar of the Year

Winner:  Fubar
To be honest, I've hardly gone there this year, compared to my frequency of visits when it first opened. But I like it a whole lot better since the 2010 remodelling; it's much cosier, and that mezzanine is a great use of space. It is now about the only bar in Sanlitun/Gongti that could tempt me to cross town; the only place that always seems to have a good crowd in, mid or late evening; the only place that seems to be invariably well spoken off by a broad mix of people. Yet again, it seems Mr Lager is doing a lot of things right. [Ooops! I hope I'm not becoming a jinx, but... only a couple of weeks after this, Chad suffered a major falling out with the other investors, and appears to have been ousted from the bar. I fear that means that the bar will soon be in the toilet - because, frankly, Chad was the main reason to go there: it was his personality that lifted the place above mediocrity, and his watchful eye that kept the staff doing their jobs right. Whenever he wasn't around, the service was just a shambles. He was also solely responsible for sourcing keen promotional deals with various high-end spirits suppliers, and ensuring the authenticity of all the stock. I'm not at all optimistic about Fubar's prospects without him. Very sad news.]

Runners-up:  Er, many, and none. I am reluctant to revisit past selections in this category - although 12 Square Metres, Salud, Amilal, El Nido, and the Pool Bar are all still exerting their charm. I considered the supposedly likeliest 'contenders' - mostly notably El Nido, First Floor, and Great Leap Brewing - in this post a few weeks back. Though several places have created a lot of buzz for one reason or another, none of them, for my money, has been an unequivocal success.

I suppose many people would put MaoMaoChong (City Weekend's 'Bar of the Year' winner) in the frame as well. Much as I love the place, I somehow just never think of it as 'a bar'. It still, for me, has more of a bistro feel, even though they've given up the idea of positioning themselves as a pizzeria (what with the hopeless constraints of that tiny kitchen and the completely inadequate two-at-a-time oven). Their spirits and cocktail selections are great, but the beer list is very limited; and I can't see myself giving my top award to a place that doesn't have anything on draught. Maybe next year I might rethink - I almost feel they need a special category all of their own!

There we have it. Any comments, queries, abuse??

My Mai

麦

Gosh, this is FATE.

Just as I move apartments, migrating outside the North 2nd Ringroad which necessitates a change of walking habits such that I now usually go down Beiluoguxiang rather than Jiugulou Dajie when heading out for the evening,.... a new bar opens up near the north end of Beiluo.

It's barely 15 minutes' walk from my apartment (it would be a lot quicker, if the 2nd Ringroad weren't such a pain to get across). It is now the nearest bar to my apartment (well, apart from Cangku and ZuiYuefang, and a couple of little cafés - none of which are serious contenders as a 'local'). And it's good. Very, very good.

It's called Mai, and it's set in a siheyuan. The long main room has some lovely high roof beams, well restored with a dark varnish. And the little courtyard might be nice in the summer. There's a small 'private room' and a kitchen on the other two sides of the yard. The boss, a young chap called Jeff Ji, trained at a couple of the city's premier cocktail bars, so he's going to emphasise his cocktails - very well-made, and some quite unusual recipes, but affordably priced - but not get snobby about it; there'll be a good range of wines and imported bottled beers as well. It's like Apothecary, but without the pretension - and practically on my doorstep. Or... like El Nido, but with way more space to sit inside - and cocktails! This place is going to be a winner.

I discovered it by sheer good fortune - intrigued by the two tiny red lanterns hanging above an otherwise plain and inconspicuous doorway. It was just entering a week or two of 'soft opening' prior to its big launch on the first Friday of December. Jeff's a friendly guy, and eager to learn - open to feedback on everything from the cocktail recipes to the pricing. And the 'soft opening' phase wasn't really an 'opening' at all; while he was still stocking the bar and getting things shipshape, he refused to let anyone pay for anything (I tried not to take advantage of him too much). The launch party was a recklessly loss-making event too: bottled Stellas at a nominal 5 kuai and very strong Old Fashioneds for an equally ridiculous 10 kuai. Man, was I wrecked that night!

But this is a fine example of the effectiveness of spending a little money to engender customer goodwill (something Chinese entrepreneurs are often blind to). I feel so goddamned guilty and grateful for all the cheap-or-free good times he's showed me in the past few weeks that I'm now honour-bound to drop in for a last nightcap almost every time I've been out.

And Jeff's latest promotional craziness is a 'Beer Tasting' this Friday. He hasn't confirmed the details to me yet, but I think the plan is supposed to be that you can get 6 bottles of premium imported beer (not sure if it will be a specified 6, or a free choice from his extensive list) for the giveaway price of 60 rmb. Aha! It's not such a complete giveaway. He really is planning a 'tasting' - just a small glass of each beer. But then, you can get a free bottle of your favourite one at the end. 9pm start. Give Jeff a call on 13811252641 if you'd like to take part.


Hm, I wonder where I'll be this Friday....

[Mai is the Chinese word for wheat or malt, so Jeff felt it would be an apposite name for a bar that boasts an array of fine beers and single malt whiskies. Unfortunately, he picked the bizarre and rather unclassy Malteasers as the English name for the bar. I think he might be persuaded to drop that. Mai is a way cooler name, and easy to remember. That's all that's on the menu and the business cards, I think. And on the sign outside the door. (Yes, there is one now! He had a bit of a speakeasy vibe going at first: nothing to indicate that this unremarkable door was the portal to a little slice of bar heaven.)]

Web-wise

Change is afoot in my favourite local - but not in a bad way. New managers MB and LJ are introducing a few small changes here and there to put their own stamp on the place - introducing some new beers, tweaking the prices a little, revamping the music playlist, planning a few special events.

And the most momentous change so far has been.....  the creation of a website!

Well, theoretically, there was one all along. Bar founder JK leased the domain name, set up a rudimentary homepage... and then rather forgot about the whole thing. It had little or no content, little or no Web 'visibility', and probably zero visitors. But now.... well, LJ counts being a website developer among her many talents, and in a very short space of time she's done a bang-up job of transforming the 12 Square Metres web address into a proper website. Go check it out.

HBH 251

It's not the new things

But the fact of change that irks,

Loss of what once was.

A gloomy reflection on the state of Beijing today. People keep asking me of late if I like it here and if I plan to stay much longer, and I find my answer is a more and more emphatic NO. I suppose it doesn't help that I spend so much of my time walking down Jiugulou Dajie (once a narrow, ramshackle hutong, but now a five-lane highway), Dianmenwai Dajie (once a bustling shopping street, but now one huge construction site), and Nanluoguxiang (once a quiet little hutong, but now a gaudy riot of tourist tack).  This city started turning to shit big time about a year or two before the Olympics. And it started getting expensive too. [Actually, contrary to that opening line in the haiku, it is the 'new things' I resent; modernization in Beijing has almost always been a retrograde step.]

I had feared the loss of my favourite bar might be the final straw for me. But, in fact, it appears that it - we - have been saved. JK, creator of Beijing's homeliest pub, 12 Square Metres, and one of my best buddies for the past three years or so, is leaving for Oz today. It had been starting to seem dangerously likely that the bar might close, or undergo radical changes under new management. Fortunately, at the eleventh hour, a young American couple, Mike and Lauren, stepped forward to take over the running of the place, and it seems they will keep everything pretty much as it is (a few changes here and there to the music playlist and the pricing wouldn't be entirely amiss!). But it won't be quite the same without grumpy old JK curmudging away behind the bar. We'll miss you, big guy.

Today's THE DAY

Gosh, yes, it's the 4th Anniversary of my 'local', 12 Square Metres.

Drinks specials all day! I believe JK's aiming to open around noon, and push on until.... the booze runs out (might not be that long, since there have been hassles with deliveries of some items lately: no draught Kronenbourg at the moment - boo!). It might get a bit raucous.

I'll probably wait until late afternoon or early evening to put in an appearance; I don't have the stamina - or the cash! - for an all-day session at the moment.

In a city where bars rarely survive more than a year or two, it is a substantial achievement to be still going strong after four full years - particularly for a self-run 'hobby bar' like 12SqM. Congratulations to JK and Limei on creating such a gem. 

However, it is a day also tinged with great sadness. It seems likely that the bar will change ownership soon, perhaps even close, as JK is planning to return home to Oz. I don't know how I'll get by without the place; or without JK and Limei, who have become very dear friends. Ah well.... time to drown our sorrows!

Anniversaries abound

It looks like I picked the wrong week... to give up drinking! (AGAIN)

Just last week it was my 9th Chinaversary. The 5th anniversaries of both my blogs are looming (what shall I do to 'celebrate', what shall I do??). It is my best mate The Choirboy's b'day in a couple of days. And I gather Flamme is turning 1 year old this week, too. (Or has been, this month. I nearly missed it.) Oh dear.

And now I am reminded that the 'official birthday' of my favourite bar, 12 Square Metres, is to be celebrated next Saturday - the 3rd of September. This will be the end of 4 glorious years of the best little bar in Beijing. Coincidentally (or not), this also marks the 3rd anniversary of my becoming a regular customer there. And, if we're really getting silly about things, it will be the 20-month-iversary of the place's expansion to 44 square metres....

I suspect, in fact, that they really opened for the first time on 1st or 2nd September 2007... but that just means we'll be indulging in a nostalgic whoop-it-up throughout the end of this week.

And I was going to try to have a dry month in September. Hm, maybe I'll start that next week....

Top Five 'Pastures New'

I've been varying my drinking experience quite a bit of over the last few months.  Partly, it's work that has been taking me further afield; partly, perhaps, it's a certain ennui taking hold with regard to some of my long-established favourites; partly, it's just a case of there having been some interesting new openings that needed to be checked out.

This might well have become a 'Top 10' post.  In the past three or four months, I have.... renewed my acquaintance with tiny, fun music bar What (after 3 or 4 years of shameful neglect!), I've tried out new Jianwai SOHO opening Shala (the creation of an old drinking companion from 12SqM; I wish him all the best with it, but I find it a rather identity-less kind of bar... and it's in Jianwai SOHO, so I'm unlikely to pay more than a token once or twice a year visit), tried out trendy new night spot School (to my surprise, I do not hate it; decent service and quite cheap, though their DJ 'music' is not at all my thing) and the bizarre new Sanlitun bottle shop (eventually named the Heaven supermarket: it would be a godsend if the stock weren't all months out of date!), stopped in at Fu a few times (one of the more pleasant off-Nanluoguxiang spots, but too coffee bar-ish for me, and largely devoid of punters... and, crikey, after three or four contentedly customerless years, it suddenly CLOSED, just a few days after I posted this), finally hunted down the much buzzed but hard-to-find Great Leap Brewery (I'm not such a fan: they've got a great courtyard space, but it's full of people who can afford to pay 40 rmb for a beer.... and that's not me), looked in on the newly expanded and remodelled BeerMania (again, I am not a fan: 40 rmb and more for a beer??!!), and - since I've been teaching some classes at Beijing Foreign Studies University - I've checked out a number of the foreign student-targeted places round there (such as the Old Bike Café and the bizarrely named PKD [??]; found them all a bit dire, I'm afraid), and so on.

However, the places that have really inspired some interest and merited more than the isolated visit are....

My Top Five new bar discoveries

5)  Sundance Club

Investigations of this place are still at an early stage.  But I like the name. And I like the idea of a bar that nobody but me will ever go to. It's one of those archetypally naff, quixotic little Chinese ventures that I described in this 'typical bar trajectory' post a year ago: only a few minutes from Houhai, but on a street with absolutely no walk-by at all.  Though it tries to entice people in with the promise of darts and board games, I don't think it's ever likely to achieve much success.  At present, it seems to be serving just as a den for the young Chinese owner and three or four of his ne'er-do-well mates to slob around playing video games and watching Beijing Guo'an on the telly.

4)  Laowai's

Not such a new discovery, since I looked in here a few times shortly after it opened at the end of last summer.  However, I've been working up in Wudaokou for the last three months; and The Chairman and his brother Terrible Tes both live nearby, and have made it one of their most regular haunts; so, I've been dropping in quite a bit, usually on Thursdays. It seems to be the most successful of the rash of new openings that greeted the start of the new academic year last autumn (most have folded already!), and is giving the expensive-but-long-established Lush and the cheap'n'cheerful Helen's a good run for their money. I find it noisy, overlit, and thoroughly charmless (and the service is, predictably, a bit wayward); but some of the food isn't half bad, and the prices are very reasonable.  It also has a couple of so-so pool tables and a shuffleboard table (although no-one seems to know how to play that). Of course, its 'crowd' is almost entirely Mandarin students - a class of people that I do not love - but, curiously enough, all the irksome Young Americans seem to prefer Lush and Pyro Pizza, while Laowai's attracts an interestingly international and much more engaging group of youngsters.

3)  Mississippi

Or Mrs Hippy, as I like to think of it. Again, not really a new 'discovery', since I have been enticed over there a few times in the past - but too infrequently for me to have remembered where it is! I renewed my acquaintance with it because the new manager there likes to drink in 12 Square Metres occasionally on his night off, and invited me round to sample some new items on the menu. The place has been around for years, but hardly any foreigners - aside from a handful of regulars who live nearby - seem to be aware of its existence. It's at the far end of that mostly rather undistinguished strip of restaurants behind the old Friendship Store - further down that lane than anyone ever goes. It's a would-be American 'steakhouse', but with somewhat indifferent Chinese execution of the concept... and an inconspicuous sign and no advertising. The quality and pricing of the food is a bit erratic. At present, they seem to be surviving on an almost entirely Chinese - and perhaps not that discriminating? - clientele. But the place has potential - oh yes!! It has a properly dark bar, and a very cheap 'happy hour' that runs almost all day (not entirely a good thing; a bit overdone, if you ask me). It's the kind of place where you can get completely lashed for under 200 kuai. I didn't think they existed any more!

2)  Laker's

Having said that... a couple of months or so ago, a new backpacker type of bar opened up just around the corner from me (in the big youth hostel half-way up Jiugulou Dajie), whose pricelist is a complete throwback to the bad old good old days of Sanlitun South Bar Street: it is, as I observed a month ago, a dive bar time machine. I assume the name is intended to call to mind the Los Angeles basketball team, but with the intrusion of a 'grocer's apostrophe'. Yes, I fear this does intimate the likelihood of an inept and scattergun approach to winning foreign custom. The food, indeed, is all over the place: some things appear very good value while others... oh dear (the burger is generously proportioned, but made of utterly rancid meat, which I very much doubt derives from a cow; the pizza crusts are so thin and brittle as to be unable to bear the weight even of the skimpy toppings provided; and the 'nachos' are a small bowl of tortilla chips with a little plastic cheese melted over them, nothing else - not really an inspiring offering; although I still haven't checked out the all-day breakfast, which looks quite promising... I'm such a fearlessly persistent culinary explorer!).  Also, they do tend to play some really vile music (mostly hip-hop/R'n'B - obviously targeted at a much younger crowd), and way too loud (although, at least, they are usually amenable to turning it down, if you ask them nicely). However, it's on my doorstep, it's got a nice little terrace out front, and the booze is amazingly cheap (and, even more amazingly, not fake): the Long Island Iced Tea they don't know how to make but put A LOT of alcohol into anyway for only 30 kuai, and the very decent pints of Beijing draught beer for 10 kuai are the top picks.

But, in the top spot, instead of all this low-rent, budget-conscious sleazerie, we have a touch of class....

1)  Za Jia

This is the best new bar to open in Beijing since El Nido. It's a pity that it is doomed to shortly be overwhelmed by hordes of noxious hipsters, but, at present, it's often pretty deserted on week nights (they don't bother to open at all on Mondays), and so is becoming a fairly regular last stop on my way home (from which it is but 7 or 8 minutes away). It's an absolutely gorgeous space, in a very old building (it used to be part of a Daoist temple complex, I believe, probably a storehouse or something: the central roof beam is 25ft high); tastefully decorated; dark and wombily cosy.  Opened by a couple of artists, it has video works looping on a couple of small TV screens most of the time, and a tiled space on one wall with weekly-changing quotations or graffiti art. They have connections with the music scene too, and a lot of CDs by local bands they like are available to buy at the bar. They do occasional events and live music shows as well. And it's really quite reasonably priced: I baulk slightly at a 20-kuai Harbin beer (though that's not so unreasonable for such a stylish venue), but most of the other drinks are good value; the bargain highlight of their list is the Islay malt whiskies at just 45 rmb per glass - the best price in the city! God, I love this place!

[It's an added bonus for me that there's a rather good snooker hall just upstairs.]

And so, there you have it. Just when I thought my drinking life was getting stuck in a rut, suddenly there are all these new options. I hardly know which way to turn.