Further annals of bad service in China

There are many things I like about the Fish Nation on Nanluoguxiang.

I like the cosy decor, and the real fire in the winter.

I love the roof terrace in the summer.

The draught beer's usually pretty good there.

And it's about the only place to get 'Western' food in my neighbourhood.

(Also, I'm quite friendly with one of the owners - a worthy if infrequent adversary on the pool table.)

However..... the service is just terrible. Abysmal. Appalling.

I have quite frequently been told there that they are OUT OF RICE. Out of rice?? In China???!!! Now, obviously you shouldn't ever run out of a staple like that - particularly when it is an essential accompaniment of at least two of your dishes (the chicken curry and the chilli con carne). But if they should suddenly find themselves caught short, there is a late-opening supermarket only a minute or two's walk away, so they could re-stock instantly at any time. And if buying (or cooking?) some rice is, for some reason, too much hassle for them, they could always order in some cooked rice from one of the numerous Chinese restaurants nearby. You'd think it would be worth the 1 or 2 yuan expenditure in order to avoid having to disappoint a customer, wouldn't you? But they don't seem to have anyone there who's capable of taking that kind of initiative.

The last time I went there with the Chairman, they managed to go one better even than this: they didn't have any rice or any chips!! Again, purchasing potatoes quickly and cheaply at virtually any hour of the day is no kind of a problem.... except for these people. After some minutes of negotiation we suggested to them that perhaps a few slices of white bread would be a reasonable substitute to bulk up the meal. Not much of a substitute, but better than nothing. We didn't get an apology. Or a reduction on the bill.

On another occasion, three friends were dining there. I had already eaten, and had just joined them for a drink. And, when I saw what a shambles the service was going to be that night, I left again as swiftly as I could. All three meals, I was later told, had arrived at different times; it seemed as if the staff had decided that they couldn't possibly deliver another plate to the table until the previous diner had finished theirs. The last chap - who had ordered their signature dish of fish & chips - had to wait nearly an hour for it, long after his companions had finished eating.

I'm allergic to fish (they once nearly poisoned me by substituting slices of crabstick - without telling me - for the beef they'd "run out of" on my Mexican pizza.... at least they did give me a small reduction on that occasion), so usually prefer to get sausage & chips. The trouble is that 'sausage & chips', for some strange reason, isn't on the menu as such. No, you have to order sausages and a separate side order of chips. And they always, always, always come separately - no matter how patiently you explain that you would like to receive them at the same time. And they don't show up just a little bit apart. Oh no. The chips always arrive suspiciously quickly, sometimes within only a minute or two - as if they were cooked hours earlier and then cursorily warmed through under a hotlamp. The sausages, however.... well, they have to be handmade to order every time. Or so they claim. And it takes about 40 or 50 minutes. They are great sausages, but I have given up trying to order them.

I hadn't been in for a month or so, so I dropped in this Saturday evening. They were fairly full; which I immediately knew to be a bad omen (it's hard enough to get anyone's attention, or to have your food arrive in less than half an hour, even when the place is nearly empty on a typical mid-week night - which is when I usually go). And they had 4 barmen/waiters on, rather than the usual 2 or 3; which I immediately knew to be a bad omen. The service there is so bad that you just know that having more staff is going to make things even worse, rather than better: there's no clear division of labour, and everybody is going to leave jobs to someone else to do - hopeless. And I was right. After 10 minutes of being completely ignored by all 4 members of staff (who weren't particularly busy doing anything else; one had started clearing my table, but gave up half-way through the task and never returned), I gave up and went elsewhere.

The owners are very rarely in evidence there, and there doesn't seem to be any kind of manager. The senior member of staff when they first opened up on Nanluoguxiang was a very bright and pleasant young man (although he had lumbered himself with the unfortunate 'English name' of 'Kobe') who had transferred over from their original outlet on Sanlitun. Things were fine while he was around. But since he left, it's just been one long succession of oafish incompetents working there. And there's no direction, no supervision. It's a complete mess. Really. I just can't believe how bad it is sometimes. There's nowhere else I can think of that comes anywhere near to this place in its consistent awfulness.

I am thinking that it may be time for a boycott. Or a word in the boss's ear. Or both.