Yesterday's post about the wacky pseudo-brands we sometimes encounter in China reminded of a bottle of Chinese 'whisky' that I bought a few years ago. I've hung on to the empty bottle all this time because the label is so amusing (although the stuff was so vile, I think I tipped most of it down the sink, after trying and failing in a last-ditch attempt to make it palatable by reducing it with some sugar to make an ice-cream sauce...). I don't have the wherewithal to produce a photograph of it for you at the moment, but it probably wouldn't be very legible anyway.
Instead, here I present for your diversion the full text of the main label (right down to the punctuation and capitalization, the spacing and highlighting - really, I'm not making any of this up!).
Yantai China
Special Whisky
OLD *12* TIME
TIANCHI MANOR
TASTING BEST AND
DELICIOUS PRODUCTION, ELABORATE
BREWING AND CLASSICAL MAKING.
RARE MALTS
Tasting Best And Delicious Production, Elaborate
Brewing And Classical Making. The Wine Was Made
Of Best Grapes In The World,and With Internal Advanced
Technics.it Is Clarity And Has Full-bodied Fruit-smell,
Vinosity And Long Aftertaste.
Produce of Yantai China
TIANCHI WINERY CO., LTD. YANTAI
700ml 40%(W)
Special Whisky
OLD *12* TIME
TIANCHI MANOR
TASTING BEST AND
DELICIOUS PRODUCTION, ELABORATE
BREWING AND CLASSICAL MAKING.
RARE MALTS
Tasting Best And Delicious Production, Elaborate
Brewing And Classical Making. The Wine Was Made
Of Best Grapes In The World,and With Internal Advanced
Technics.it Is Clarity And Has Full-bodied Fruit-smell,
Vinosity And Long Aftertaste.
Produce of Yantai China
TIANCHI WINERY CO., LTD. YANTAI
700ml 40%(W)
I love that it was made of "Best Grapes In The World"! They really hadn't done much research on malt whisky making, had they? And I dread to think what "Advanced Internal Technics" might have been used in its creation! I rather think drinking the stuff might have required another set of "Advanced Internal Technics". The bottle was well short of a 700ml capacity as well, but I suppose I should be grateful for that.
2 comments:
I'm pretty sure it's just baijiu and food coloring.
Once went to a club in Xinjiang called Clone City...they had all the fake alcohol (looked like real brands) for 20 kuai. And I think most of them were made in Yantai.
Great name for a bar!
I love it when they're so unashamed about the (naff) plagiarizing.
I've had some Chinese red wine (not cheap, and in a supposedly rather upscale Shanghainese restaurant) that was nothing but baijiu and food colouring. It tasted bad, but had no longer-term effects.
Some of these fake spirits really do make you quite ill.
Post a Comment