Monday, June 01, 2009

The near miss (another 'dating disaster')

Attempting a fitful tidy-up of my office today (in anticipation of possibly moving to pastures new in a month or two) I happened upon the business card of a young woman I got to know briefly last summer. It had been mislaid for the last 8 or 9 months.

The thing was.... well, I had bumped into this lady quite a few times in a favourite bar. We'd got chatting. I liked her. She liked me. But there didn't quite seem to be the chemistry there. She, I thought, was giving out something of a 'not available' vibe. And I had one or two other potential romantic interests that were distracting me at the time. I found her very smart, and rather attractive, but..... I wasn't 'in pursuit'. It just seemed like a mildly flirtatious bar friendship.

In fact, a few times on parting (I think I had walked her to a cab at least a couple of times, and might even have shared a cab home with her once, because she lived not far away from me) she had warned me rather sternly against trying to kiss her. (The idea hadn't even been in my head, honestly. Maybe she was trying to plant it there?? I take people too literally sometimes, I know....)

But then..... we shared a cab home again. It was my turn to get out first, a block or so short of her destination. And she suddenly kissed me as I was saying goodbye. Quite unexpected. Passionate, yet tender. And very, very nice. Perhaps I was partly bowled over just by the surprise of it all: I was thinking, "My god! When was the last time someone fancied me like that?!" It was all very giddy and exciting - but perhaps just a delusion of paradise born of particular, fleeting circumstances. But.... well, you know how some kisses somehow don't do anything for you, and others just put your head in a spin. This seemed to be one of the latter. I probably should have invited her to come home with me right then and there, but I don't often do that 'first date' thing. And it was very late, we were both rather drunk, and we both had to work early the next morning. "Next time," I thought, "next time."

Unfortunately, over the subsequent weekend, one of my best friends was having extended birthday celebrations. And she was snowed under with work. We chatted on the phone and exchanged a few text messages, but couldn't find an opportunity to meet up.

And then....... my mobile phone somehow deleted her number (don't ask me how! It seems to happen to me quite a lot - whether through inadvertent key-pressing in the pocket, or, as I fear is the case and probably rather more common, through the tiny memory getting maxed out and randomly jettisoning items as a result of some bizarre glitch in the chip's operating system). It was annoying, but I didn't panic immediately. I still had her business card somewhere. Somewhere! Couldn't find it. Well, I figured she'd get in touch with me again. Nope (it's hard for girls to make the running, I suppose, especially at the outset of a relationship; perhaps she feared that I was involved with someone else, or just "wasn't that into her"). Ah, but I'm bound to see her again in that bar, right - the one where I've met her half a dozen times previously in the last month? Er, no. She stopped going there, apparently. And the place closed down anyway a few weeks later. Well.... she only lived a block or two away from me (I never sussed out her exact address, but it really was very close by), close to my local subway stop - surely I'd run into her on the street before long???

No. She disappeared from my life without trace. After one kiss. (Well, three.)

I suppose that's not really a 'great dating disaster' story, more of a 'great dating non-event' story - but I don't want to start having too many category tags on here. It seems to fit with the general schema of romantic ill-fortune which defines this series.

1 comment:

Mike said...

Ouch. Ouch, ouch and ouch. Nothing better than that giddy sense of possibility, and then the cruel sense of its withdrawal. My sympathies!