The Eye on The Wall

JK, the boss of 12 Square Metres, is away on an extended break in Australia at the moment.   We regulars are missing him (and his charming Chinese partner, Li Mei), and have taken to imagining that he is still joining us on occasion - remotely, via the webcam recessed into the wall at the end of the bar.  I think, in fact, the camera is a dummy, a 'security device' to discourage bad behaviour - but not actually connected to anything.  No matter.  We like to pretend.   We picture him in a beach bar in Queensland, at the end of a long day of baking in the sun or frolicking in the surf (lucky, lucky bastard!), dialling us up on his laptop to check how the business is getting along without him.   We raise a glass to him in absence.  We appraise the performance of his replacement bar staff.  We keep him updated on our progress in attempting to finish off Ben's canteen of Mongolian horse milk baijiu.  And from time to time we unleash on him one of our favourite running taunts: "How many times are The B-52s going to come up on this playlist tonight??"; "AfterShock!  Really?!  Who drinks that muck?"; "20 kuai for a Harbin?  Come on - how is any domestic beer worth that much?"  And so on.   Oh yes, Mr K, you're missing out on such a lot.  Or is there a live feed on that camera after all?