Sunday, December 20, 2009

"Bark twice if you're in Milwaukee"

Beijing's smallest bar, 12 Square Metres, has recently acquired Beijing's smallest dog - the desperately cute little fox terrier pictured here.
Apparently, the poor little fella was run over by a car (which, of course, didn't stop) on Nanluoguxiang right outside the door of the bar on Friday evening a week ago.  He was yelping piteously and unable to walk; and no-one was coming forward to claim him (it is very possible that a poor Chinese owner from the neighbourhood would disown the animal as soon as the danger of a large vet's bill arose), so JK, the boss at the bar, took him to the vet to get him sorted out.
Luckily, it would appear that perhaps he just got a leg or a paw squished under a tyre at low speed, and, with the bendy bones of a young animal, nothing was broken.  The poor little chap was bruised and shocked, but had suffered no serious harm - and, within a few hours, he was bouncing around again.  Quite literally.  Even by the standards of young puppydom and small dog breeds, this guy has a superabundance of energy.  You can't help wondering if he's got a secret stash of amphetamines up his bottom or something.
Since no owner has come forward to reclaim the pooch, he has been de facto adopted by JK and his fiancée at the bar.  They have provisionally named him Half Square Metre (in Chinese, Ban Pingmi), to fit in with the concept of the bar.  Of course, he doesn't physically occupy anything like that much space at one time, but - like a highly energised particle - though his mass may be tiny, the magnitude of his oscillations is enormous; he does, in practice, (or would, if he were given the chance) take up several square metres of space.  Aftershock was also briefly considered as a possible name - all too appropriate, given the circumstances of his joining the bar's little family (and JK prides himself on being the only bar owner in Beijing to offer the luridly coloured cinnamon liqueur of that name).  Dr Manhattan and I were lobbying for Baxter.  But Half Square Metre is the one that seems to have stuck.
The initial choice of name, though, may become irrelevant if he moves on to a new home.  JK and Li Mei are so busy with the bar (and with their day jobs) that they don't really have the time or energy to devote to the little scamp.  And he is, apparently, quite extraordinarily hyperactive and demanding.  He is also, however, super cute.  (I don't usually have any time at all for small dogs, but even I am quite smitten with him.)  Thus, they've been suffering mood swings about him all week, changing their minds from day to day, and almost from hour to hour, as to whether they should try to keep him themselves.  I quizzed JK by text message the other day as to what the latest reading was on the 'Puppy-o-meter' - love, hate, disgust, exhaustion, ennui??  He replied, "Utter defeat!"  Unfortunately, the two of them are awkwardly out-of-sync in their wavering response to the charming little hairball - whenever one of them reaches a crisis point of exasperation with him, the other seems to be succumbing anew to his irresistible cuteness.
So, if you too are won over by those floppy ears and that adoring stare, drop by the bar and see if he's up for adoption.  On any given evening, there's at least a 50% chance that he will be.


Froog said...

No, I have no idea why he's wearing a bra.

Froog said...

Apparently 'Baxter' (that's what the Dr and I are going to call 'him'!) is not a boy after all. I don't know how everyone missed that for 10 days (including the first vet they took him to!). I suppose nobody likes to look at a dog's nether parts too closely. Also, he - she - is now assessed as being only three-and-a-half months old (rather than the first vet's somewhat random estimate of four or five months [apparently, you have to look at the teeth]), which helps to explain the animal's hyperactivity.

It looks like they're going to keep her.

She is very, very cute.

JK said...

We finally named her "Trouble". Her harness slipped off making her look like she's wearing a bra, and we've decided to keep her.