You know you've been 'out and about' perhaps just a bit too often in recent months when bar owners start calling you up to ask why you haven't been in for three days.
My countrymen may recognise the post title as an adapted catchphrase from Michael Heath's long-running but now defunct cartoon series The Regulars, which used to appear in the UK satirical magazine Private Eye, and was inspired by my ultimate unsuitable role model Jeffrey Bernard and the other habitual denizens of his favourite Soho pub, The Coach & Horses. In the cartoon, there was invariably a character in the scene somewhere - usually just poking their head around the door - asking "Jeff bin in?" Indeed, quite often, this was the only speech bubble. It might have been more pertinent to ask if Jeff was "away". If he were at home (and he lived nearby throughout the last decades of his life) - not hospitalised or on holiday - he would visit that pub every single day. And once he was there, he'd usually stay there for most of the day. Thus, barring some unusual or unfortunate circumstance, if Jeff were not in, it was fairly certain that Jeff would be in later. That's regularity for you. That's what 12 Square Metres boss JK wishes I were like!
[I'm disappointed that I couldn't find any of the Heath cartoons on the Internet. Can anyone oblige?]
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