Friday, November 04, 2011

HBH 258

All such jolly fun,
A neverending party -
Till they bring the tab.

I feel as though the Angel of Death is keeping me under surveillance again. Or his friend, the Angel of Annoying and Embarrassing Incapacities, anyway. I fear I may have gout. This seems unjust, as I haven’t touched a drop of port in years. However, I gather that other ‘lifestyle factors’ - such as the substitution of alcoholic beverages for food – probably put me in a high-risk category.

Then again, perhaps it’s something even weirder and more sinister, because…. it occurs to me that this – a sudden onset of stubborn and debilitating pain in the middle of my left foot - has been happening to me at around this time every year for the past five years or more. After a few weeks of hobbling me, it goes away again, just as suddenly. 

Any ideas?

1 comment:

Froog said...

I recall one of the favourite BBC Radio 4 comedy shows of my youth that was called The Burkiss Way.

One episode - Avoid Like The Plague The Burkiss Way - featured a recurring skit sequence in which a leading character was being stalked by a ghoulish figure. At the end of the show, the poor chap was finally cornered by the pursuing phantom in some underground vault - lots of dripping water and hollow echoes on the sound effects. The sinister figure taunted him, "You know WHO I AM, don't you?"

"Er... Death?" snivelled the terrified fellow.

"No. Death couldn't make it. He's playing in goal for Chelsea. I'm his friend, Sniffly Nose. Your hour of SLIGHT NASAL CONGESTION is nigh!"

That was the exchange that came to mind when I suddenly went down with this affliction the other week.