I wouldn't have thought it possible

But Centro may possibly have a rival in the unbelievably awful overpriced bar niche.

Well, no - I think Centro will always hang on to its first place there, because it is so bizarrely popular: and it is the clientele the place attracts that puts me off as much as anything. The new 'contender' is so abysmal that I think it is unlikely ever to be troubled by many customers.

Yep, last night I looked in at a networking event in the Flames bar in the new Wangfujing Hilton Hotel. Everything about the place - about the entire hotel, in fact - is deeply unimpressive. It's hidden away down a back alley, opposite an enormous construction site - the only clue to its presence being a couple of not terribly conspicuous hoardings on the corner. It appears to be run on a self-service basis. When I arrived, there was no doorman wrangling taxis, no lift attendant, no porters, nobody behind the desk - really, there was not a single member of staff visible anywere in the lobby; nothing, in fact, to indicate that this was a hotel at all.

The interior design is almost indescribably horrible: low ceilings, dim lighting, a symphony in beige (one of those awful 20th Century symphonies that nobody listens to, masturbatory atonal experimentalism).

The lobby did at least serve as a preparatory warning: the bar itself was much the same, but worse. The carpet and most of the furnishings seemed to be of the colour Tom Waits once memorably classified as "monkey-shit brown". The walls are cluttered with picture-framed mirrors, but, strangely, this seems to do nothing to create a greater sense of space; it somehow only emphasises the pokeyness of the room. The level of lighting could best be termed dingy. Now, I have often said that I like a bit of dark in my bars, a comforting wombiness. I should perhaps have been more specific: a bar needs a contrast of light and dark within (dim corners for skulking, but fairly strong lighting around the bar itself), but little or no outside light penetrating. There seems to be a fashion in recent years - perhaps driven by the eco-freaks' zeal for energy-saving - to have universally low light throughout a bar or restaurant. A few months ago I was complaining about this perverse affectation at Mesh. Flames is following the same eyesight-endangering path.

At least there's an island bar. I love island bars, in general. But this one is devoid of character, and takes up far too much space. The counter is made of fake - or very cheap - black-grained white marble; and it's not even one-piece, but crudely fitted together with tiles that are reminiscent of cheese boards.

Free "canapés" for the networking party were a selection of daubs of unidentifiable (and mostly - again - brown) paste that had been bonded to small fragments of dried bread with a blowtorch. They served no purpose whatsoever - other than to warn people against trying any of the adjacent restaurants on the 5th floor. I didn't see anyone attempting to eat one.

A poster downstairs had boasted of the views on offer. Hmm - well, I think there were only a couple of small windows in one of the side rooms. The main bar area is completely windowless. The only view would be of the construction site over the road, so probably no great loss. The poster also mentioned, I think, an intention to develop the bar as a live jazz venue. I can't see that flying either. Crappy acoustics, not enough space - nowhere, really, to put a stage. I couldn't help feeling that this promotional copy had been written by someone who'd never had to suffer direct experience of the bar itself.

Why did I waste a portion of my evening in hunting down this dismal bar? What foolish optimism had taken possession of me? My suspicions should have been aroused by the fact that the Oriented networking group (not last night's host) has started using this place for its monthly meetings this year. I used to be a big fan of these get-togethers (well, a few years ago one of the main organisers was a friend of mine); but over the past 2 or 3 years they have developed an unfortunate knack for consistently choosing unappealing and hellishly overpriced venues (Zeta, i-Ultra, Element Fresh), and then sticking to them for months at a time. So, their recent selection of Flames should have been a red flag. I shall be more alert to such helpful auguries next time.

Ah, one last thing - the drinks list. Expensive. Very. 50kuai for a Tsingtao! And it's not even the unlovely but at least comfortingly familiar 330ml bottle. Oh no, it's tepid draught served in a considerably-less-than-full Collins glass.

Wild horses could not drag me back.