I mentioned on here several months ago that the 'possible band names' game is a popular subject for SMS exchanges with my old friend, The Poet. Here in China, you quite often find inspiration in the random bits of Chinglish on public signs and in company and product names. In that earlier post I cited the great example of The Sex Health Protection Monopoly - which is in fact a chain of specialist clinics or pharmacies down in Shanghai. And then of course many actual band names in China are superbly warped - tonight I'm going to a gig featuring Banana Monkey and Muscle Snog! And I have spoken often of my adulation for Beijing's weirdly wonderful experimental jazz outfit, Glorious Pharmacy.
So, I'll kick off with a 'Top 10' list of possible band names that have always appealed to me, and will then invite my readers to add their own suggestions in the 'comments'. Most of these, of course, are film references - feel free to shout out if you recognise them (or to complain if you don't).
I omit my very favourite, The Gutter Roses (the story behind that one is here), because I think I might actually use that one one day.
I wonder how many of these are already band names. At least some, I imagine; perhaps all. Never mind. I can't be bothered to check now. Somewhere in the world, at some time or other, almost every conceivable combination of words in the English language must have been adopted as a name by some teenage garage band..... There was, for example, back in the late '80s/early '90s a band gigging around Oxfordshire called Kitchens of Distinction - another favourite name of mine.
Anyway, here goes with my Top 10....... (counting down).........
10) Drowned Kittens
9) Biohazard
8) Bedtime for Bonzo
7) The Smoking Beagles
6) Surf Nazis
5) Cherry 2000
4) Glove Full Of Vaseline
3) War Rocket Ajax
2) Monsters From The Id
And...... my current absolute tip-top Number 1 fave.....
1) Candygram For Mongo
Now it's your turn........
[Well, what do you know?! I discovered in April 2012 that Candygram For Mongo is a real band. You can check out their official website, their merchandise, and some free sample tracks on MySpace.
They're from LA, and were born more than two years before I came up with the idea.]
210 comments:
1 – 200 of 210 Newer› Newest»I think I have mentioned on the blogs somewhere before that, back in my school days, I was affiliated with a short-lived punk rock band called Ded Lemming. The name was my idea.
I liked to see myself as their Malcom McLaren figure - publicist, songwriter, style guru. I was never actually a performer (although I did get on stage with them a couple of times - just to bounce around and scream, in the approved punk fashion).
Swollen Glands.
As in the swollen throat glands from spending all night every night yelling.
kind of like mine are, right now.
Hmm, not bad - I can see that working as a punk name.
It has occurred to me that you could produce quite a long list of possible band names just from Frank Zappa lyrics (or song/album titles).
Weasels Ripped My Flesh
Them Or Us
Baby Snakes
The Man From Utopia
Ship Arriving Too Late (To Save A Drowning Witch)
Hot Rats
Lumpy Gravy
Everything Is Healing Nicely
Imaginary Diseases
Uncle Meat
200 Motels
One Size Fits All
Sheik Yerbouti
Bongo Fury
Playground Psychotics
Yellow Shark
Tinseltown Rebellion
Truck Driver Divorce
Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?
Jazz From Hell
Yup, youngsters forming a band don't really need to look any further.
Finally, an outlet for the band names I have been storing up in my head for no particular reason.
1. The Bloody Heroes
2. Gruntfuttock
3. The Right Wallys
4. Captain Astro And The Saucer Pilots
5. Knuckle Sandwiches
6. Git Summit
7. Annual General Beating
8. The Badger Set
9. Slippery When Wet
10. Pump-A-Tron
Well, thank heavens you have no influence in the music biz, Ed - these are truly awful names.
Well, I quite like Git Summit - I've convened a few of those in my time.
Annual General Beating might have some legs too....
'Slippery When Wet' was of course (you may be too young) a surprisingly good Bon Jovi album of the late 80s. No reason why that can't now be recycled as a band name, though.
Do you think we can sell any of these ideas? A lot of Chinese bands do have really dreadful names. I think they need our help.
Truly awful names? Going by Swollen Glands, Surf Nazis and Biohazard I thought 'truly awful' was the point.
I actually reckon Chinese bands do pretty well for names:
- Carsick Cars
- Lowspirits
- SUBS
- Scoff
Monkey Banana and Muscle Snog are pretty atrocious though.
Ed
I think Carsick Cars is a dreadful name. And RETROS. And Oxygen Can. And Lonely China Day - ugh, how naff and insipid is that? (Kind of appropriate for the band, though - I'm not a fan!)
Hedgehog is dangerously cutesy, not really rock'n'roll.
I say these guys need help.
More disastrous Chinese band names (this could be a post all to itself)....
Wood Pushing Melon - good band, but what's going on with that name? Maybe it means something in Chinese??
Hang On The Box - that was a pretty terrible name too.
Queen Sea Big Shark - has at least twice as many words in the name as it needs!
And Ourselves Besides Me could be the new leading contenders for naffest name.
A more testing question would be, Are there any really good Chinese band names?
Off the top of my head, I think Casino Demon and Secondhand Rose are about it.
Oh, and Brain Failure, I suppose - good name, shame about the band.
I think that slippery when wet is already a band name...
I will think hard about a good name but I'm not good at thinking of this sort of thing.
Come on, HiK - positive thinking! The glass is half-full - and there's another one here for you when you've finished that.
And you haven't got much to beat so far!!
Hehe, good game.
How about:
Peach Fuzz
The Rise of the Nanobots
The Surrender Monkeys
Human Zoo
Drowning By Numbers
The Panda Pornographers (one for China!)
Jedi Nights
Cyanide Capsule
Data/Lore
The Duffman Chronicles
- lost baggage
- earache during altitude change
- american men are loud
- please god don't let them seat me near the high school tour group.
*I like the panda pornographers, sheik yurbouti (hah!) & everything is healing nicely one.
Ah, HiK - you've been flying!
We look forward to further suggestions, with 'my bathroom is flooded' and 'I can't get a cab' themes, etc.
I hope the trip wasn't that bad. You didn't get the high school tour group, did you?
Froog, I am not yet in Thailand. I was referring to HiK's blog. But perhaps it would be better if I were in Thailand, b/c I fear I won't be very good at this game. But I will participate, so no one can say I am a party pooper.
In no particular order...
1. (The) Bedbugs Bite
2. (The) Bedbug's Bite
3. Tripwire (stealing titles off my bookshelf)
4. Statistical Anomaly
5. Mr. Speaker
6. (Or) Die Trying
7. On That Note
8. Original
9. No Turn On Red
10. Low Clearance
11. Absolute Zero
12. Apogee
13. Strange Bedfellows
14. Robbing Peter
15. Foot in Mouth
16. Second Fiddle
17. Liberal Arts
OMG, are you just writing down everything you see?
"I love desk. I love lamp."
I think road signs, etc., can be quite a fertile source of band name inspiration - Men At Work being a particularly worthy example of that genre.
Currently I'm quite partial to Maximum Occupancy.
I did see a flyposter the other day advertising a gig by The Nine Stone Cowboy. But he's real (I think), so presumably doesn't count...
Oh, how The Cowboy wishes he were that light! Probably hasn't been since he was 10 years old.
Bookseller, we expect more of you. You have nothing but time on your hands all day in the shop - we demand a definitive list of crap band names from you.
Another occasionally inspiring source of potential names is the verification codes required on many blog comment pages.
Cazyss - I think that could work.
Last night I went to see a visiting French band called Papier Tigre. They reminded me of my high school band. Except that Ded Lemming couldn't really play their instruments - but did, I think, have an occasional spark of genius in their writing and performance. Whereas these French boys could, more or less, play their instruments but their music sucked mightily anyway. And they all looked like clones of each other - a sort of down-and-out chic, "we couldn't be bothered to shave or cut (or wash) our hair for the last three months". However, the name somehow sounds way cooler than Paper Tiger. This got me to thinking that French could be another rich seam of band naming....
Enfant Terrible
Les Enfants Du Paradis
L'Enfant Sauvage
L'Enfer - C'Est Les Autres
Zero De Conduite
Mal De Merde
Le Monde Du Merde (see upcoming post on the Krewe du Vieux)
Sang et Fer
Rive Gauche
Chacun Pour Soi
Oh yes, endless possibilities...
Latest inspirations from the world of 'comment verification':
Mr KBB
Lebozkra
Always thought Roman Catholic-themed names would be good for any sort of glam rock band
eg.
Transubstantiation
Pope Benedict
Mother Superior
Forgive me Father
Mea culpa
Penitence
etc.
Of course there are all the books of the Bible too (although I think Genesis has been taken). Nonetheless, this still leaves:
Deuteronomy
Leviticus
Ezekiel
and most appropriately
Song of Solomon.
For more inspiration look at Australian 'alternative' band TISM (stands for 'This Is Serious Mum'). While the actual band name may be unoriginal, the title of the album "Great Trucking Songs of the Renaissance" is a work of genius. Tracks include "I'm Interested in Apathy", "Defecate on my face", "Martin Scorsese is Really Quite a Jovial Fellow", "The Ballad of the Semitic Nazi" and "Johnny to B. or not to B. Goode". Those are just the ones I dare to mention...
Oh, you have to rip me a copy of that!
Great Trucking Songs Of The Renaissance!!
I may have to have a new post for a 'great album titles' competition.
On a Biblical theme, I quite like
Red Sea Parting
and
Plague of Boils.
I always loved Tom Waits' description of one of his band members as Leviticously Deuteronomous.
Now that could be a band name.
Sorry my homework's late, Mr Froog- the dog shat on it. Here is a list of names I thought up in the shower this morning.
1 Cnut (Thrash Metal)
2 Heliogabalus (Metal)
3 Diet of Worms (more Metal)
4 Bring Out Your Dead (yet more Metal)
5 Jaap Psi
6 Coq Ring (both Euro punk bands)
7 Art of Darkness (Indie, probably)
8 Get Out of Jailbait (Indie)
9 Rupert Don't Surf (Indie)
10 The Nastassja Kinkys (Late 70s NY)
11 Hie Thee To a Nunnery (Indie)
12 Groove Cliquot (easy-listening jazz combo, or possibly a failed British Eurovision entrant)
13 Liddell & Scott (duo, or bombastic prog-rockers)
14 Hillary Obama (a girl, a guitar, a depressing song)
15 Maid in China (an ex-pat girl, a guitar etc.)
16 Yo Ho (rappers, or babe with violin and wet tee-shirt in classical/pop crossover)
17 The Romney Huckabees (C&W group from Kent. Available for weddings.)
18 The Electric Cher (Tribute)
19 Better Led Than Dead (Tribute)
20 The Dixie Dicks (all-male Tribute)
21 The Smurf Nazis (Tribute Band of the Surf Nazis)
22 She's in the Attic! (sick)
Very good, Bookseller. We forgive you your tardiness. It was worth waiting for.
More, please. When are you next planning to take a shower?
The tribute bands are particularly inspired - but I think perhaps that should be a separate sub-genre with a post of its own.
Was there really a band called Surf Nazis? I had suggested that as a possible name, inspired, of course, by the classic 80s no-budget film Surf Nazis Must Die!.
I think Electric Cher is my favourite. I still have my morning coffee dribbling out of my nose from that one - an excellent way to clear the clogged sinuses.
Was Surf Nazis a Troma production? I suppose I'd better IMDB it....
Would The Dixie Dicks be transvestites?
These are the questions that will keep me awake at night.
I just wrote a post on Froogville about The Daily Mail's list of Weird Book Titles (the link includes the cover illustrations - check it out). I think virtually every one on this list could be a possible band name.
What's Wrong With My Snake?
How To Abandon Ship
Scouts In Bondage
The Walled Up Nuns (my favourite!)
Living With The Dead
Fellow Fags (not what you think)
Movie Stars In Bathtubs
The New Radiation Recipe Book
and
The Benefits Of Farting
Not quite as brilliant as The Bookseller's recent offering, but some of these definitely have potential, I think.
TISM --- sounds cool... when you get the rip, Froog, I'll be expecting a chance to listen in.
My favourite (real) crap tribute band name is a Country outfit who specialise, somewhat unexpectedly, in AC/DC covers- called 'Hayseed Dixie'...
According to Google, the Surf Nazis don't exist, but you can't help feeling they SHOULD. I'm half convinced I've got an old Cnut album somewhere too.
Another transvestite act (available for gay weddings) is
23 Dick man Dyke
I waste too much time on this website (possibly because it's the size of e-Bay)...
Which website is that, Bookseller? The transvestite cover bands directory??
What's the address? I feel the urge to go take a look myself.
I have just been reminded that John Otway's friend Richard, who often plays guitar with him on tour, once claimed to be a member of a heavy metal band called Weevil.... spelled WE-EVIL. I was never sure if he was just making it up.
Buzzkill
Human Remains
Apathy Now!
The Net Porn Junkies
Do Not Disturb
Minefield Hopscotch
The Electric Heels
Passion Victim
Rasputin's Mole
Postcards From Prison
Moonshine Hangover
The Real Lindbergh Kidnappers
Lethal Dose
The Norsemen of the Apocalypse
Shark In The Water
Fakin' Bacon
The Doomsayers
Arsenic In The Wallpaper
Zombie Cheerleaders
The Great Spam Conspiracy
Public Transportation Will Get You Nowhere
Year Zero
Transient Anomaly
Major Malfunction
My Igloo Is Melting
The Trailer Park Troubadours
Estimated Value
Ziplock Zebras
That's a very good list, Gary, whoever you are. Many thanks.
You make me want to have another go myself.
It's hard to choose a favourite from all these. I think maybe Rasputin's Mole (I think I know what you were thinking of!) or My Igloo Is Melting. You're definitely in contention for the monthly prize.
There is an old Danish band (or duo more accurately) who were called Shit & Chanel. That always made me smile.
You smile at the strangest things, Cowboy.
But I am sure you are now planning a new career as a C & W promoter (Who the hell was Lurlene Lumpkin's manager in The Simpsons before Homer? That's you, that is.) assembling bands like The Dixie Dicks and The Trailer Park Troubadours.
I love Candygrams for Mongo beause I totally get the Blazing Saddles reference - but must say that I think Blazing Saddles to be a terrific band name. Afterwards pretty much any name that would indicate some form of flatulence would work for me. Like There she Blows
Windy and Sublime
The Gassy Brothers
The Passing Gas Band
There you go. I am totallly fixated!
I've washed again. Once you get tribute bands into your head, they take over. I'm ignoring your suggestion they should be a separate post, since that would just give you an excuse to blog even more, when you should be getting some fresh air (well, fresh-ish in Beijing) and Talking To Nice Girls (that might be No. 24)
25 Elvis Precisely
26 Adam Can't
27 Marianne Faithfully
28 The Deng Beatles (Chinese tribute- they might be supported by-)
29 Chew'n'Lie &
30 Long Live Thai 1 (although that might be-)
31 Band in China
I liked that 'Norsemen of the Apocalypse', myself. If there is a prize for any of this, I hope it's worth more than the wedding present you gave me (although it has great sentimental value...)
I'm new to your blog, but I can't resist...
1) Men Without Hydro
2) Communists In Drag
3) Trans Fat Free
4) The Dried Figs
5) Perverted Crumpets
6) Eyes With Stys
7) The Retarded Bunnies
8) God, I Have To Go Again!
9) Coroner's Jubilee
10)Plastic Surgery Ooop's
11)Al Quada High-Steppers
That's all for now. I hope you enjoyed them. Come visit me at my blog sometime, and don't forget to leave a comment and let me know you were there.
Take care
Tory
Why, thank you, Tory, whoever you are. How did you stumble upon us?
Men Without Hydro I do not understand - but who said it had to mean anything?
Perverted Crumpet I like - although I think it sounds more like a soft porn website for a particular type of Englishman.
Did you realise that The Dead Kennedys (a great real band name!) had an album called Plastic Surgery Disasters? I may have to dock you a mark for being derivative there. Sorry.
A comeback to one of the very excellent Gary's suggestions - I can't help thinking that Les Singes Capitulards sounds better.
Also, Tory just reminded me of another good one -
The Bunny Rippers. This was ghoulish slang at my school for the senior Biology students - who had to carry out dissections of dead rabbits as part of their studies. I don't know if the term enjoys any wider currency.
Sorry! I'm from Canada and Hydro is the name of our Electric or Power Company.
I heard about your 'Band Names' from reading another blog. Forgive me I can't remember which one!
However, I am too old to know anything about the group The Dead Kennedys and their 'Surgery' song, so please don't deduct any points for that. I swear I didn't know, but it concerns me that someone else has actually thought of that name too.
Take care
Tory
I always thought Charlie Don't Surf would be a great band name, although it is a Clash song already.
Otherwise, the law has to be a source here. The Permissive Easements maybe?
The law as a source of inspiration, huh?
Mens Rea, anyone?
I was estopped from using Mens Rea because I know a band called that.
I thought there might be. Is that just a law students' garage band, or a band band?
I think somewhere in between. They were a student band, but one that played gigs and stuff.
I was thinking Res Ipsa Loquitur My Arse would be a good band name.
Well, many people would say that your arse does speak for itself, and often for you, Cowboy.
If we're going to get all Latin on here, how about Nolo Contendere?
How about:
Free Consultation? No, Money Down!
Ah, Lionel! How we miss you!
Well - apart from my recent little thrust-and-parry of legalese with The British Cowboy - there don't seem to have been any new contributions on here for a while, so....... I suppose I'd better try and get the ball rolling again with some more suggestions of my own.
Here goes:
Omar's Ambition
(a very personal reference)
Yellow Snow
(you all get that reference, right? I have a feeling it's yet another Zappa song)
Absence Of Madness
(a desirable - though surprisingly rare - attribute I look for in a potential girlfriend)
Ectoplasm Spill
(I've always loved the word 'ectoplasm'!)
Inside The Whale
(good enough for Jonah, good enough for me)
Frozen Extremities
(your payback for that 'yellow snow' naughtiness)
Fed Leopard
(cover band - 4 tubby middle-aged English teachers [they don't approve of bad spelling] in Spandex)
Chain Gang Fugitives
(I think this is probably the most plausible name I've come up with in this batch - has anyone actually used it yet??)
Toxic Load
(very Heavy metal)
Hordes of Mordor
(Goth Metal, probably - I'm sure this one must exist somewhere??)
Anti-Serendipity
(a concept that merits more discussion)
Holidays On Skaro
(oh, go and look it up for yourselves)
At school we had a band called ‘Ashtray and the Dogends’ that performed under the usual handicap of having no discernible musical talent. I am not sure whether the more snappily-named ‘Oedipus Wrecks’ ever got any further than its rather cute name.
I am labouring under the twin handicaps of being tone-deaf and showering too often, but for what it’s worth here goes....
Boyband wannabes (possibly Chinese)
1. Handball Hard Boys
2. Chromium Plated Crew
3. Lay-Dee-Birds
4. Tand Hand
5. Bunny-Go-Low
6. GT-Ex
Beards-with-no-moustache (Cornish Pub Circuit)
1. Ginny Pigge
2. Snufflepump
3. Shagpyle
4. Chunderfest
5. The Muffcowboys
Female lead singer (infill at comedy clubs)
1. Read Hed
2. Thainy-T (cute oriental with Sheffield accent)
3. Vajinismus (alternative-lesbian)
Narcissist nancy-boys with daytime job (city pubs)
1. Escrow Scarecrow (a bunch of bankers)
2. Chiasmata (those biology degrees were fuck-all use for anything else)
3. Concrete Armadillo.
Heavy Metal wannabe (deepest Essex)
1. Cast Iron Bastard
2. Trolle (trying too hard)
South African nostalgia
1. Deeply Veldt (you’ve been over here too long, guys)
Enigmatic Mike Oldfield type with synthesiser
1. Mandritsa (Albanian origins?)
Sixth form no-hopers
1. Glow Worms Fart
2. Backstreet Blowjob
3. Standard Deviant
4. Onya Baik (Burmese politician's son lead singer)
5. Catterfalk (savage common-room debate as to whether that should be with a 'k')
6. Vapid Rabbit (poncy girls’ public school)
7. Dystonia
8. e-Bay-Bidet
Thank you, Mothman - a very varied selection.
I feel Concrete Armadillo and Standard Deviant might actually work.
Incidentally, are you really looking for truly crappy names or are you secretly looking for quite good/witty/funny ones?
For me I don't think that 'Rasputin's Mole' can be beaten. It's crap - in a truly brilliant and amusing sort of away. 'Electric Cher' also tickled my funny bone.
Maybe you need 'prizes' under different categories..? I don't wish to be unduly heretical, but if you think about it for a few seconds, divorced from its historical connotations the name 'The Beatles'is pretty dire even by sixth form standards...
Yes, most band name are a bit crap, really. The Beatles was a horrible name - but it was a younger, more innocent world back then, I suppose.
I suppose the main idea with this game is to try to create names that are deliberately crap rather than inadvertently so; but the best ones are so quirkily crappy that they transcend their crappiness and actually become workable band names.
I am thinking of having sub-prizes for 'Best Cover Band' and 'Best French Band'. And maybe 'Best Band Name That Really Is A Band Name' (no, on second thoughts, probably not: I can't be bothered to do the research for that!).
My old buddy The Mothman recently used the term (on the 'Asexualismo' post) Random Crisis Generator - as a synonym for 'girlfriend'! A great band name idea, I think.
A little while ago I went to see a new laowai cover band calling themselves The Friendlies. Terrible name! I suppose it appealed to them because it is so Beijing-specific; but it is also, I fear, very timebound - the reference is already fading in many people's memories, and will be consigned to utter obscurity before the end of this year.
A little explanation called for? Very well. BOCOG (the Beijing Organizing Committee for the Olympic Games) originally dubbed its five Olympic mascots 'The Five Friendlies'. They then had a change of heart - not because they belatedly discovered that in English (unlike in Chinese) we do not use adjectives as nouns (or abstract concepts as names); nor because they realised that it was a terminally naff name anyway; no, they were worried that it sounded too much like 'Friendless'. So, these irritatingly cutesy kung fu pandas have been rebranded as 'The Five Fuwa' (again shockingly unoriginal - 'fuwa' is merely the Chinese for 'doll').
The Friendless would, however, I feel be a band name of far more character and longevity.
My 'create a name for a rock band' game has attracted over 60 comments in its first month (although, admittedly, half of those have been mine!), and it is time to announce some winners.
Dave S takes the honours (narrowly, in the face of some very stiff competition) with the inspired - Panda Pornographers
I would also like to make a special award to Gary (although I have no idea who he is) for an entry that was exceptional in both quality and quantity: he submitted around 30 suggestions, all of them really, really good - a fine mixture of political satire (Public Transportation Will Get You Nowhere, My Igloo Is Melting), cunning punnery (The Norsemen Of The Apocalypse, Passion Victim, The Electric Heels), historical references (The Real Lindbergh Kidnappers, Arsenic In The Wallpaper), and pure-and-simple band-naming genius (Moonshine Hangover, The Net Porn Junkies, Zombie Cheerleaders, Minefield Hopscotch). His most brilliant offering (which would have won outright in any other month, and probably deserves a special prize all of its own) was Rasputin's Mole. This is not (I believe) a reference to a cute furry animal, but rather to the rumour that Rasputin's great success with the ladies of the Russian Imperial court was largely due to what one biography of him called "a large and strategically placed mole on his penis" - a phrase which, I feel, coyly covers up a failure in research: where exactly was this bloody mole? Enquiring minds want to know!
Commendations also to Ed Peto for Git Summit (I think I've attended a few of those in my time); to my old Oxford buddy, the Mothman, for his recent suggestions Standard Deviant and Random Crisis Generator; to OMG for Robbing Peter; and to Dave S (again!) for The Duffman Chronicles (Cowboy, that's not you in disguise, is it??).
A special prize (and a new category) for 'Best Cover Band Name':
The Bookseller has this one all sewn up on his own, with entries of such twisted brilliance as the Better Led Than Ded, Electric Cher, and The Deng Beatles (big in China!); but the winner, of course, is his fantastic invention of a transvestite C & W tribute band called The Dixie Dicks.
Another additional prize category, for 'Best French Band Name':
Les Singes Capitulards (Yes, that was one of my own - why shouldn't I win something?)
Please, keep your contributions coming. I shall pick more winners each month, and hold a 'champion of champions' readers' poll at the end of the year.
Please also note that there is now a supplementary competition, a challenge to identify all the film references in this list of mine. Give it a try.
Thanks for playing. I hope to hear more from you.
Well, what do you know?! Moonshine Hangover and Minefield Hopscotch are actual band names.
It just goes to show that all the good ideas have been thought of by someone else already.
Don't let this discourage you, potential competitors - all entries are eligible provided I haven't heard of them before.
Re: 11)Aiming for the horse. Darn it, I have seen this recently. It's going to drive me crazy until I figure out what it was... or until you tell me, which is much more likely to happen first.
OK, I'll tell you, OMG. But you must promise not to let on to anyone else - we have to maintain the sanctity of the competition.
Thank you, Froog! Yes yes, I watched that one over the holidays in December. And you're right about which character it was, and the circumstances. Good stuff.
This month's entry:
Zeitgeist
Nutsucker
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks
Retired Superheroes
Electrolyte Imbalance
Imaginary Fiends
Fear Of All Sums
Necronomicon
Idiot Synchrony
Y-Front Rebellion
Karmic Retribution
Armed Bears
Cops On Acid
Swimming Pool Pirates
Don't Try This At Home
Alarums & Excursions
Giving Up The Day Job
The Dreamweavers
Technicolor Yawn
The Mighty Toreadors
Band names: I was thinking, given the preponderance of anglophone Chinese punk bands in Beijing, that it might be fun to have an all-foreigner sinologue punk band, to be called either 黑户 ('English' name: Los Illegales) or 英文六级 (Level 6 English).
That said, neither of these things holds a candle to 'Candygram for Mongo.'
Thanks for looking in again, Gary. Another fantastic list - looks like you're the frontrunner for the honours again this month.
I particularly like Swimming Pool Pirates, Fear Of All Sums, and Y-Front Rebellion (a China reference? are you China-based?), but I think my favourite here is Idiot Synchony.
How long, I wonder, before we get a suggestion of Crotchless Panties Rebellion?
Oh, I've just done it.
It occurred to me the other day that More Spastic Than Plastic might work as a band name (this was a complaint I voiced after 30 minutes of trying and failing to pick up an ice cube with a pair of very bendy plastic straws).
I also quite like Absence Of Madness (one of the qualities I look for - but seldom find - in a girlfriend!).
Ah, yes, and then there was that phrase I recalled from my school days, Vodka On The Cornflakes.
And, of similar vintage, a term of mild abuse - Scungebucket.
You see how easy this band-naming lark is? There is inspiration everywhere.
More suggestions, please.
As you may know, I haven't followed popular music very much since the 1960s. However, I divine that malaproprism, spoonerism, and general punnery (has someone else already suggested Get Thee To A Punnery?) are the requisite techniques for creating such names. Therefore, I humbly offer you these:
The Keyhole Sturgeons
A Pair Of Dice Found
Grouper Soup
Penny Arcane
Dazed From The Red
and
Bed Of Noses
As with our friend The Bookseller, I find that cleansing rituals concentrate the mind wonderfully. These came to me during a long soak in the bath.
A potential band name I've liked for many years is 10 Famous Belgians. I envisage them to be a quartet at the most.
Recently I arrived at The John Fries's Rebellion, which was suggested by a Google game: Click on the random article option. The first article is the band name, the second is their latest album and then the next ten are the tracks there on.
Fun for all the family.
Holidays on Skaro makes me think of a few:
Tin Dog Biscuits
Park in Space
The Sontaran Clone Warriors
Dalek Underpants
The Screaming Victorias
Hanging Langford
Romana's Schoolgirl Uniform
Just Sevateem
Tythonian Oral Fixation
okay, I'll stop there...
Swordsman! Thanks for dropping by. Dr Who could no doubt throw up endless band name possibilities. I don't remember Romana's schoolgirl uniform - do you have pictures?? I imagine that was the second Romana; I always preferred the Mary Tamm incarnation myself.
And Snopes - you never cease to surprise. A very fine selection indeed. Thank you.
I mentioned over on Froogville the other day that I had found a promising contender for this month's prize in a Chinglish signpost in Harbin directing me towards the Naive Bears Paradise.
I also recently came across a 'comment verification' code of Umnao, which seems like it could be a band name to me.
And I have just read that The Bookworm is this week hosting a speaker event about scuba-diving in Mongolia's Lake Hovsgol, which is to be entitled Shipwrecks Of Mongolia and The Underwater Deer (apparently it's their - not terribly scary-sounding version of the Loch Ness Monster). As I keep saying, you can find inspirations for this competition EVERYWHERE.
Please, keep your entries coming.
Venus with arms - all-female AC/DC tribute band (what a thought ...)
Not original but woth resurrecting nevertheless: "Ernst Gob and the Phlegmish National Orchestra" was famed - notably for not turning up to perform at May Balls - in Cambridge in the late 70's.
And "Don't chew blu-tac" came with a natty logo - a mix of anguish and hypersalivation - but had better PR than staying-power.
And:
(a) The flexible tiger appears (guess the source withour resorting to a search engine!)
(b) Cancelled due to illness (who are puzzled to play to empty venues) - possibly not original ...
No French band name suggestions this month yet.
How about some German ones instead? I've always thought that Schadenfreude would make a great name for a Heavy Metal group. Ditto Kulturkampf. And how do you translate Reach For My Revolver??
The Chairman was trying to balance out virtue with vice the other week by devoting an hour or two every afternoon doing his German 'homework' (little more than a thinly-veiled pretext to skulk on his own in a coffee shop all afternoon, getting in an early beer while the rest of us were still out busy being tourists). One of the phrases he was trying to decline was Der Traurigen Vetteren (I hope I got the endings right there - if I didn't, I blame the Chairman!)...... which, of course, means The Doleful Cousins - a German Country & Western group????
Very good, Lunch, very good.
Is 'flexible tiger' some sort of China reference? It doesn't ring any bells with me.
Cancelled Due To Illness is inspired!
How about a German folk trio: Saxe, Coburg und Gotha?
Then there's Ostpolitik, Realpolitik and the like. Sturm und Drang, perhaps, for the heavy metal brigade. Indeed, why not The Heavy Metall Brigade?
Quite so, Chad. I keep telling people this game is easy. Keep 'em coming!
Ah, and of course Blut und Eisen.
We did that last month in French. Maybe we could start a new sub-thread for translations of 'blood & iron' in as many exotic languages as possible. I'm sure it would work as a band name in almost all of them.
Another from the realm of classical music (the Flexible Tiger is a line from Haydn's Creation; Genesis day 5 "suddenly the flexible tiger appears ...":
Et ab haedis me sequestra
(Froog will know but .. it's "and keep from the goats" which is an alternative offering.
And: Guess my super-power
1) Very Excellent Barbarian
2) Some Place Like Bolivia
3) Bullet Festival
4) Charlie Don't Surf
(or perhaps Charlie's Point)
5) Talking To A Corpse
6) Born Ready
7) A Trick With Sand
8) Macho Bullshit
9) Zed's Dead
10) Fuhrer Of The Beach
11) Aiming For The Horse
12) Greed is Good
13) Life Of The Mind
14) Big Man Out Of Shape
15) Nobody's Perfect
16) Napalm In The Morning
17) Top Of The World
18) Print The Legend
19) Klaatu Verata Niktu
20) Offer You Can't Refuse
21) Rodents Of Unusual Size
22) No Gold In Aqabar
23) Not The Third Switch
24) Full of Stars
25) Thumbs Gone Weird
26) Chocolate Squirrel
27) Purity Of Essence
28) Dereks Don't Run
I've repositioned this list of suggestions from the original comment a month or so ago. They are all based on references to favourite films, and I had intended this as a separate sub-competition; but it got somewhat lost amid the welter of comments on this thread. So, I have now created a separate post for this competition. Please go and take a look at that, and leave me a comment there (or e-mail me) if you fancy you can spot all the references.
FEBRUARY'S WINNERS
(Sorry - I thought I'd added this to the comment thread a week or two back. Better late than never. I hope we haven't run out of steam on this already. No new entries so far in March??!!)
Of course, we couldn't match the bumper crop of entries in the launch month of our silly little possible band names competition, but the quality of suggestions in February was again very high. Indeed, I think I've had even more difficulty picking the winners this time...... but here goes.
A special commendation once again to Gary, who produced a list of absolute corkers; I loved Swimming Pool Pirates, Imaginary Fiends, Armed Bears, Fear Of All Sums, and the marvellously warped China reference, Y-Front Rebellion; and best of them all, I think, was Idiot Synchrony (yes, we get a lot of that in China.....) - in any other month that probably would have been a winner. I hope Gary won't take his disappointment too hard, but will rather be goaded into returning with another set of suggestions this month. If he keeps on coming up with ideas as good as this, he's bound to win sometime soon.
However, this month I'm going to award the top prize to my old friend Snopes (accuse me of nepotism, if you will!), who submitted a shorter but equally brilliant list, including such gems as the delightfully Dada-ist Bed of Noses, the China-friendly Dazed From The Red, and the surprisingly plausible Penny Arcane. However, my absolute favourite (cue: portentous drumroll) was........ Grouper Soup. We've had many varieties of wordplay in our band name suggestions, but this was our first instance of a spoonerism and it was sheer genius.
Further honourable mentions to my old Oxford pal, The Swordsman for The Screaming Victorias and Just Sevateem (Englishmen of a certain age will get the reference!), and to The Lunch for the superbly stupid Cancelled Due To Illness (they wonder why they play to empty houses!!).
There was only one 'Cover Band Name' entry this month, but it was a worthy winner - again from The Lunch: female AC/DC tribute band, Venus With Arms.
And I'm going to award the prize for 'Best Foreign Band Name' this month to my friend The Chairman for Der Traurigen Vetteren (German Country & Western group - "The Doleful Cousins"), although it should, I suppose more properly be credited to whoever wrote the antique German grammar book he is trying to teach himself from.
Special thanks also to Brendan for contributing our first entries in Chinese. I hope we'll see some more. 黑户 (hei hu - which means something like 'black clan': I'm not sure if it is a phrase with particular associations, gangster slang perhaps [Brendan? Help!]; but Brendan proposed the Spanish alternative, Los Illegales) was a close runner-up for 'Foreign Band Name'.
Do keep your suggestions coming. This is proving to be great fun.
And don't forget the new supplementary COMPETITION here!!
There have been no new entries this month?
Perhaps I can steal another undeserved victory?
Since spoonerising served me so well last time, may I venture Dane Breath? I can see them as one of these so-called metal bands, which, I'm told, typically feature large Scandinavian gentlemen of dubious personal hygiene standards.
Perhaps, to help you escape the ire of the censor in China, you could use a disguising pun such as The Daily Llama.
I fancy the backroom boys at the Treasury might amuse themselves in their free time by playing pub gigs around Whitehall as Fiscal Rigour, or maybe Tighten Your Belts.
For a cover band, I suggest The Ersatz Eagles.
I'm afraid I have no other inspirations at present.
Ah, Snopes! There you are! Where have you been hiding, you old rogue? You might be the salvation of this thread.
It had been looking as if it had run out of steam.
Gary? Where the heck is Gary this month?
Hmmm, I wonder if Dolly Lemur would do as a D*l*i alternative?
Ah, I was attempting a reference to an old BBC children's show, Animal Magic, in that last comment....but on reflection, I think the cute little ring-tailed lemur who always appeared at the end of that was called Lottie or Dottie, not Dolly.
I think it was Dottie (an odd name for a stripey animal! What was Johnny Morris on??).
Sorry, man. I've been crazy busy this month. Got to give this Snopes guy a run for his money I guess.
Here goes:
Freudian Sloop
Bite Me
Buy-One-Get-One-Free
Zenith
Honeybucket
Grailquest
Rogue Mail
Gnome Alone
Xanadu Express
The Hip-Hop Replacements
Hurly Burly
Hornets Nest
Minimalismo
Dragon Tamer
Undertow
Billion Dollar Brian
Funktathlon
Explicit Footage
Cutting Room Floor (they should never be allowed to share a bill together)
Caste Party
Mood Swing
Hang Em High
One Careful Owner
Cosy Dungeon
The Ale Marys (beer drinking folk trio of former nuns)
Candy Rabbit
Humdinger
Queen Kong
An Eagles cover band should be called Just Can't Kill The Beast.
For a French band, I like Desperate M'sieurs.
And for a T*b*t*an band, how about Delhi Lamarr.
Gary, good to have you back! I was afraid we'd lost you.
Another excellent list - many thanks. I think you're assured of a prize or two this month.
I love Billion Dollar Brian - I do hope that wasn't just a typo?
And Caste Party - another corker! Indian band, presumably?
Hard to choose a favourite - it's between Cosy Dungeon and Freudian Sloop, I think.
Please keep up the good work.
My friend Jeremiah observed this morning on his excellent Granite Studio blog that he had a small pet turtle who was rather 'perturbed' to have to share a study with the indefatigable blogger/historian/bon viveur/basketball fan.
I think Perturbed Turtle would make a great name for a band.
Actually, Granite Studio might just work too.
I'll credit these two to J - although I don't think they're quite good enough to win the "prizes" for this 'month'. Unless you, the readers, insist that they are, that is.....
Hmmm, I haven't left any suggestions myself this month, have I?
How about Live Underwear? (Although my drinking companion, Crazy Chris, might claim the 'credit' for that one....)
Or.....
Peace Dividend
The Scary Llamas (have you seen that picture I posted yesterday?)
Discomfort Zone
Avalanche Of Shooters
Pick-Up Joint
(these last two from my 'horse-racing' post here on The Barstool the other day)
Freakshow
Haul Of Fame
Poundstore
Collision With A Moose
The winners & honourable mentions for the month of March:
A slack month for this contest, last month. Nearly dead, in fact.
I hope the great Possible Band Name challenge hasn't run its course already. It's looking as though I need to do something drastic to draw in more readers......
However, despite the recent lull, we did still have a couple of particularly fine contributions from the 'regulars', Snopes and Gary.
Even with so comparatively few suggestions on offer, it was again difficult to choose the winners.
I especially liked Perturbed Turtle (an inadvertent suggestion from my blogfriend, Jeremiah), Live Underwear (credit to my new drinking buddy, Crazy Chris - there's a reason why we call him that), Xanadu Express, Rogue Mail, Candy Rabbit, Tighten Your Belts, Funktathlon, The Hip-Hop Replacements, Gnome Alone, Caste Party, and the wonderful, wonderful Billion Dollar Brian (I do hope that wasn't just a typo, Gary).
And I almost feel there ought to be a special prize (or a new category?) for Gary's creation of The Ale Marys - "a beer-drinking folk trio of former nuns".
I was very tempted to once again award the 1st place to my old friend Snopes for another wonderful spoonerism: Dane Breath (marvellously appropriate, as he says, for a Heavy Metal band - who so often seem to "feature large Scandinavian gentlemen of doubtful personal hygiene").
However, after being bridesmaid-rather-than-bride for the first two months of this competition, I feel I really must honour Gary this time; and I think he gave us a more-than-worthy winner in Freudian Sloop (a Ship of Fools? Or a Ship of Tools? Hmm, either of those might work as band names.....).
Actually, it's going to be a clean sweep for Gary this month, since he also takes the prize for 'Best Foreign Band Name' with the (not entirely in a foreign language, but never mind - it's brilliant) Desperate Messieurs. OK, that was the only entry in this category this month - but I think it would have been a deserved winner in any company.
Snopes had a fine 'Best Cover Band' nomination with The Ersatz Eagles (I feel sure they must already exist....), but Gary trumped that with Just Can't Kill The Beast. I really can't think of a better name for an Eagles cover band. Gary, you deserve extra brownie points for definitiveness.
And on top of all this, we have yet another potential new category starting up for Dalai Lama puns...... although I feel that probably has rather limited mileage. But hey, prove me wrong.
I hope the suggestions will keep flowing. The original thread here is now very near to 100 comments - way more than any other post of mine on either of my blogs (in fact, probably very near as many as the total number of comments on all my other posts combined!). So, I hope we can burst through that threshold soon - and keep on going.
Hey, I nearly forgot to put in an entry this month. Although I'm still waiting for my prize from last month.
I like the idea of a girl band called
Hot Chicks In Leather Whatever they sounded like, they'd always draw a big crowd. Maybe after a few years they'd change their name to
The Faster Pussycats
I also like
Bling Me More!
The Rehab Junkies
The Ganja Four (Chinese reggae band?)
Empire Of The Senseless
Wimplunch
Voodoo Bile
Bad Habits (who later achieve greater success as the Bored Hobbits)
Giant Rabbit Delusion
and
Forty Whacks
For a 'French band name' I like Contretemps, and for a 'Cover band name', Led Balloon.
Gary! Thank heavens you're back! What would I do without you?
I particularly like Empire of the Senseless - that feels like where I am living now. Do you have any idea what that would be in Japanese? That could be another 'Foreign Band Name' contender.
Actually, in that category I'd like to make a nomination myself: Ajīl-e Moshkel-Goshā, which apparently means The Problem-Solving Nuts in Persian (there's an explanation in this post).
Since Gary has proffered an entry again, I feel duty bound to respond, though I am, I fear, sadly short of inspiration at this late hour of the night. An eleventh hour entry indeed!
I saw a television programme on ladies' fashion recently which spoke of 'classy gowns'. Since spoonerisms have served me so well in the past, it occurs to me that Gassy Clowns might be a good band name. Wasn't there a correspondent on here who particularly liked flatulence references?
I also think Lewis Carroll should be more often used for band naming inspiration. Perhaps he is,and it just passes me by. Is there already a Brillig, for example?
The Dilettantes would be a fine name for Mr Froog and the Bookseller, were they ever to get together to form a band.
I also like Pilates of Penzance, though I fear that if I checked the Cornish phone book I might well find a fitness centre of that name in existence.
Could Dazed Dan (Confused) work as a punning band name?
And what about Cat As Trophy? This was a phenomenon I once encountered in a bowls tournament.
And could not perhaps Blunderwall be an Oasis cover band?
I have nothing else to offer at this time.
Ah, Snopes, there you are. It's been ages since we'd heard from you. I'd been getting a little worried about you.
I'd always wanted to make that 'Pilates of Penzance' joke! I think you're probably right, though: it almost certainly is the name of an actual business down there. Ah, it's been years since I was down in Cornwall. I must try to go back there on my next trip home. Beautiful girls in Cornwall....
Yes, it was Ello who delights in all references to passing wind - so Gassy Clowns will probably be her favourite of all the suggestions on here so far.
I suppose Dazed Dan could be a one-man Led Zep cover band!
And really, Snopes old chap, you never cease to surprise me: I would never have thought you'd ever heard of Oasis!
I tend to think that an Oasis cover band (if such a thing were really necessary or useful, which is highly doubtful) would have to be called The Arrogant Coked-Up Mancunian Gits.
No, I am not a fan. They were puffed up as the biggest British band of the '90s, but they were blown away by Pulp, Blur, Radiohead.
I had held off posting last month's WINNERS for a while, because I (unselfishly) didn't want to claim the Comment No. 100 milestone on this thread myself. But then I realised that one of my own earlier comments which I had deleted (or at least, repositioned) was still being counted (because I had only semi-deleted it); when I rectified that oversight, we were back to 98. So, now we're at 99. Over to you....
Anyway..... a late, but typically excellent entry from the indefatigable Gary carries the honours for last month in the ongoing (on-limping?) Possible Band Names competition.
Wimplunch, Bad Habits (later rebranded as Bored Hobbits!), The Faster Pussycats, The Rehab Junkies, Giant Rabbit Delusion, and The Ganja Four (a Chinese reggae band, what else?) were all fine suggestions, but I think I'll give the prize this time to Empire Of The Senseless (does anyone know what that would be in Japanese?).
My old friend Snopes nearly snuck the victory with another great pun, Cat As Trophy. He also continued his fine run of spoonerisms with Gassy Clowns. And he cheekily suggested The Dilettantes as a band name for myself and The Bookseller!
For Best Foreign Band Name, I really liked my own suggestion of Ajīl-e Moshkel-Goshā (The Problem-Solving Nuts in Persian), but I fear Gary has trumped me with the beautiful simplicity of Contretemps (why does everything sound so good in French?? Mind you, I bet there is a band of this name...).
For Best Cover Band, Gary offered us Led Balloon, but I think I prefer Snopes's Blunderwall. However, I am reluctant to award any honours to anything connected with the execrable Oasis, so I give the prize instead to another Snopesism - Dazed Dan (Confused)........ a one-man Led Zep tribute outfit??
Please keep playing. Remember - we are still awaiting Comment No. 100 on this thread!!
So, moving the theme along a little, what say a band called the Pun-ks?
Curtis E Kerr: bass guitar
Justin Casey Howels: drums and batterie
René St. Semaine: Guitar
Henrietta Mann: lead vocal
Lance Boyle: Guita and vocals
I'm glad someone else jumped in to claim the 100 spot. I was daunted by the responsibility.
My latest ideas:
Braingasm
The Space Cadets
Indelible Stains
Macrophage
Cold Day In Hell
Sin Dome
Cupid Stunts
Mouse Arrest
Junk Food Addiction
Bionic Beach Bums
Rumpled Milk Skin
Morituri
Mystery Meat
Game Theory
Extinction Level Event
Flying Blue Monkeys
Lords of Misrule
Avatar
Uncle Funk
Dubious Motives
Ill Wind
Runecaster
Restless Natives
Rhino Neil
Night Stalker
Esoterica
Cheesemover
Wax On, Wax Off
Jumpin' Back Slash (a bunch of computer geeks who do Stones covers)
Also Sprach Zarathustra
Gary, what would I do without you?
Did you know that the Cupid Stunt pun has been done before? She was a garrulous porn star in The Kenny Everett Television Show (incongruously portrayed by the bearded Kenny himself) on BBC1 in the late 70s, early 80s. Her key catchphrases were: "Then all of my clothes fell off!" and "Oh, but I'm telling you the plot!"
Winners for May
Well, the ever reliable Gary was our only entry this last month - although I guess I'll try to keep the competition 'open' for a while longer, since at least two people have told me they're "working on" substantial entries.
We did also hear from Chad again, suggesting a new possible spin-off game of creating possible band member names. I particularly liked his Rene St. Semaine on lead guitar. (Think about it.)
Gary's selection was as rich and varied as ever, and it's hard to pick an outright winner. Go and take a look yourselves (just above), and let me know what your favourite would have been.
Runecaster, Ill Wind, Night Stalker, and Morituri are all great names for metal bands (I suspect some of them are.....). And the contorted punnery of Mouse Arrest, Rhino Neil, and Rumpled Milk Skin is hard to resist. I think that the Bionic Beach Bums and the Flying Blue Monkeys are probably the most plausible band name suggestions in this batch, but..... well, for some reason, I really like the relatively mundane Uncle Funk. If there isn't yet a band with that name out there, there ought to be - and SOON.
Best Foreign Band Name prize this time must go to Also Sprach Zarathustra.
And our Best Cover Band is Jumpin' Back Slash, a Rolling Stones tribute band composed of IT nerds. Brilliant!
Please - keep your suggestions coming. Try to give the awesome Gary a bit of competition.
Hey, where did everybody go? Run out of town by the new visa regulation?? Well that's my excuse. But I'll be back.
Am I in time to post for June. It's not yet midnight on the 30th for me.
I enjoyed your sports chat with your buddies about the soccer this month but couldn't chip in since I know squat about the game. I found some band name inspiration there:
Squarehead
Big Lad Gomez
Swordsman's Hex
Romulan Benchwarmers
Penalty Choker
Last Gasp
Primadonna Implosion
Dark Horse
Warlord
Eat Lead, Suckers!
Johnny Matador
Man-Eating Sofa
I thought I had more but I can't remember them now.
Hm, how about Carpe Diem for a foreign language band name.
And Cover Band - The Sax Pistols (light jazz covers of punk, somebody's gotta be doing it!)
Hey, Gary, so glad you could join us again.
Visa woes, huh? Sorry to hear that. When will you be back?
It's a sly trick to plunder your suggestions from my football discussion thread! Of these, I guess I like Johnny Matador best.
How about some Olympic inspired names this month?
Passport Faker
Diving Queen
Tears For Lolo
Lightning Bolt
We Invented Paper!
Sabre Women
Protest Permit
Re-education Thru Labor
Funking Fuwas
Undetectable
Five Rings
Medal Obsession
Friends Of Boris
Baton Handover Disasters
Skeet Cheats
Lady High Jumper Crush (with me it's Amy Acuff)
Cover Band: The Cultured Clash - string quartet plays classical arrangements of Joe Strummer songs!
Foreign Band: Dos Cervezas
I'm headin down to Mexico next week.
Hi, Gary - good to have you back. Sorry, I missed this at first.
Sabre Women was my idea, you swine!!
Was there a dispute in the skeet shooting too? I missed that.
I've just been checking out Ms Acuff on the Net. Yes, very alluring. I didn't see her in the final, though. How did she do?
Tears For Lolo is a great name, but I think I'm going to go with Passport Faker for August's 'winner'.
Thanks a lot. Hope you had a blast south of the border. When will you be back to the Jing?
Where did everybody else go? It's getting lonely here!!
Random Testing
Billion Dollar Bailout
Mostly Harmless (or perhaps for the recent Paralympics Mostly Armless)
Moose Shooter
Lost Marbles (originally McCain's Lost Marbles but that probably has no legs beyond November; at least I hope not)
Obama vs Osama
Alibis For Sale
Sultans of Schwing
Russia From My Window
Psycho Killer Convention
The Lottery Losers
Contagion
Best Before Date On End
Mescaline Milkshakes
Last Year's Mascots
Banned Wagon
Any Color As Long As It's Red
Mary, D'You Wanna?
Monthly Hazard
Spurnathon
TBC
For a foreign band name: Nunc Est Bibendum
And cover band: The Bleached Boys
Ha, Gary, you bagged the 'auspicious' 108th comment on this thread.
Another great selection. Thanks.
I assume TBC stands for To Be Confirmed (rather than being a reference to our friend The British Cowboy)? I imagine they would have the same sorts of problems with attendance that we foresaw a while ago for the suggested band Cancelled Due To Illness!
You haven't really been drinking Mescaline Milkshakes, have you??
I bet there already is a band called Moose Shooter. Or, if there isn't, there soon will be.
Spurnathon is the kind of name I would choose for a band of my own. (Or perhaps for the name of an album. Or the title of my biography.... The phenomenon is rather too familiar!)
Lots of good stuff here, as ever, but for some reason I am attracted most by Lost Marbles this time.
Stung by your naming+shaming today, I offer some more suggestions. I hope they'll still be eligible for the October awards. I have more where these came from!
How about starting off with....
Nameshame
or....
Blamesaw
And then...
Soccer Moms For Satan
Pitbull Lipstick
Welcome To The Palindrome
Hanging Chad
Suffocation High
Nemesis Shmemesis
No Xylophone!
The Suburban Shamans
Infinite Monkeys
Susurrus
Daggers Of Megiddo
Mystic Lipstick
Jobless Bankers
Exit Other Side
Lemming Trampoline
Have we had Schadenfreude for a Foreign Band Name yet? Or Weltschmerz?
And I like Pogue Minogue, a bunch of mad Irishmen who do frenetic punk/folk covers of Kylie's hits.
Will that do?
That time of the month again.
Tsunami Surfers
(or maybe Tsurfers? no, maybe not)
Strangers With Candy
Turducken
Esoterica
Eric Erotic
Spartan Martin
Mindnumber
Slaves of Santa
Suspect Device
Nude Newsreaders
Made Of Molasses
The Double Dippers
The Soup Nazis
Thought Police
Tartan-Feathered
Zoo Rescue
Lack Of Propriety
Various Artists
Exiles From Atlantis
Legends Of The Mall
Have we had Ay Caramba! for a foreign band name yet?
And shouldn't there be a Who cover-band called Pinball Wizard?
My translator pal, Brendan, has come up with several band name suggestions in recent months. Unfortunately, he has fallen into the habit of sending them to me by text message rather than e-mail, and I never seem to get around to transcribing them. I fear I may have lost some of them altogether, since I am constantly having to jettison old messages to free up space on my rather memory-challenged phone. I have certainly forgotten several splendid examples we've come up with while out having a few drinks together. I've got to try to remember to make notes!
Anyway, better late than never.... here are the ones I do still have stored on my phone:
Expectant Teen Mothers For Satan (a Sarah Palin reference, I suspect)
The Undercover Jesuits (I hope he hasn't been reading Dan Brown!)
Later amended to....The Secret Jesuits
And most recently he told me:
"I also came up with a name for a metal band whose lyrics were all about Chinese palaeolinguistics and graphology: Homophonous Weapon." (Well, that's the kind of guy he is.)
He's also taken issue with me for using the (commonly accepted) translation of (rather good, but defiantly weird) local rock band er shou mei as Secondhand Rose. "I always translate it as The Secondhand Roses. It's got to be definite article plus plural noun - there are RULES, you know!"
I assume he was (mostly) jesting about that. Unfortunately, Chinese doesn't have such rules: no articles and no plural noun forms! Perhaps he meant rules of band-naming? No, surely not!
Personally, I rather feel that plural band names seldom work - there's too much of a temptation to use the singular to refer to individual members of the band, which, with the arguable exception of 'Beatle' and 'Stone' (and, of course, 'Pogue'), almost invariably sounds a bit naff.
I have no strong preference between 'Rose' and 'Roses' in that band name, but I definitely think it sounds better without an article.
Hmmm, could Better Without An Article be a band name?
Yes, of course it could! Just not a very good one.
There are no rules, Brendan.
The Jesus Christ Dinosaur Hypothesis.
And of course there are rules. This isn't 'Nam.
The what hypothesis?? I hardly dare to ask....
There are times when it seems almost anything can be a band name. I've come across many brilliant 'found names' over the past few months - but, alas, I keep on getting drunk and forgetting them.
One I particularly liked (an allusive fragment of narrative was
The Bookcase Saga Continues
(a text message from my buddy The Chairman, claiming the reason that his complete withdrawal from normal social life for a period of nearly six months had been entirely caused by his struggle to find the bookcase of his dreams in Beijing)
I also liked
Swanky Russian Craft
(not a floating gin palace on the Black Sea, but a bizarre Chinese brand name for rather tacky series of jewelry, powder compacts, etc.)
And then, of course, there's
The Vomit People
(a term of disparagement once used by one leading UK dry-cleaners of another - search for the story under this name on the blog: it's one of my early posts on here)
Oh, gosh, there have been so many others - why can't I remember any of them now? Maybe they'll come back to me later...
Oh, yes, and
Routine Maintenance.
That was another one.
Band names everywhere.
Brendan has provided an explanation of The Jesus Christ Dinosaur Hypothesis - and complains, "These guys have totally got to stop stealing my band names!"
The Lesser Smores
Jungle Telegraph
Mambo Jambo
Funkadelic
Sundry Items
Nocturnal Remission
Now Wash Your Hands
Open Other End
Six-Pack Sonneteers
Dead Cat Doormat
Funkin' Donuts
Rapscallion
Mindgame
Dunderhead
Pedantic Semantics
Off Topic
Futile Gesture
Foreign Band: An Quan Tao
Cover Band: The Boomtown Brats - Peaches and other celebrity kids butcher their parents' hits.
Happy New Year!!
Thanks a lot, Gary. What would I do without you?
I hope you had a great New Year's Eve; hope you weren't stuck at home all night thinking up band names!
I rather suspect there's a C & W group somewhere called The Six-pack Sonneteers. If there isn't, there should be.
Hard to choose a favourite here, but.... I think I'll have to go with Dead Cat Doormat.
I don't like to ask where you get your inspiration from...
"Plastic Reindeer Rules" (yes, you were right - I blame jetlag)
"Casu Marzu"
I think Casu Marzu is likely to be the Foreign Band Name winner this month, B. I had heard of the stuff before, but think I am unlikely ever to try it - even using the 'paper bag method' (although I do rather like that that's just like microwaving popcorn: you wait for the rattling to stop!).
I think The Plastic Reindeer Rules requires some explanation.
I'm partial to Dial 9 to Get Out, and String Theory.
Yes, I just copied Caren's contribution over from this post - which was supposed to be just a news update on the Band Names Game, not a new depository for suggestions.
Both very fine suggestions, Caren. Gary may have a competition on his hands this month!
I also mentioned in that latest 'reminder' post of mine about our Band Names Game here the notion of Redneckland - which would, I think, make a great band name.
I wonder if January Abstinence might work too....
Mellow Peril
Son Of A Goon
Too Hot For Television
The Colonic Irritators
Funeral Parley
Sex Party
Exponential Growth
Funny Bunny
Suspicious Circumstances
Suspicious Mines
Batatouille
Lewd Conduct
Uses Of A Banana
Zed's Dead
Slaves To The Rhythm
Donkeyburger
Foreign Band - Perestroika
Cover Band - Dreadlock Holiday, reggae versions of 10cc.
Brendan has suggested Bovril By Electrocution as his favoured nomination for this month's prize. Cheeky of him to pinch an idea from one of my own posts!
And he had already sent me one by SMS, in reference to my quip that I was finding sobriety to be like a domineering girlfriend: DTMFA.
Apparently it's a favourite line from Dan Savage, the notorious sex advice columnist - short for "Dump the motherfucker already!"
I think I rather prefer that one.
Ah, Gary, there you are. Ever reliable.
I can't believe we haven't had Perestroika (or Glasnost) before!
And I think we have had Zed's Dead before. Yes, in fact it was one of my own suggestions in the sub-thread I tried to start (only OMG rose to the bait) on film references as band names. No matter.
Did you mean Colonic Irrigators?? I suppose either works - yes, Colonic Irritation has a band name ring too.
I think my favourites in this bunch are Batatouille (somewhere in Asia that's got to be a dish) and Donkeyburger (which, as we know, is a dish in China).
Thanks so much.
I have now added your picture to the cast list. I hope it's OK.
Ah yes, I did mean The Colonic Irrigators. Thanks for putting me right. The Colonic Irritators works as well though.
Thanks for adding me to your cast list. Good picture. I think I look a little less old and less dweeby than that that, but there's something the eyes.
So what's the winner for January? And most importantly: which of my submissions won hardest?
In recognition of Ireland's current financial woes, how about an Eastern European U2 cover band called the Polish Spalpeens?
It occurred to me the other day that Shunyi Schoolgirl Orgy would make a very plausible name for a band. (Don't ask me why I was thinking of such things!)
I also happened to recall recently that Kevin Turvey (one of the first comic characters created by Rik Mayall), who I much enjoyed in my teen years, purported to be the leader of a band called 20th Century Coyote.
I've just recalled that in this post a few months back, when I was feeling rather poorly and sorry for myself, I suggested that Sofa Duvet and Deathbed Confession might make good band names.
There are probably several other suggestions like that which have fallen by the wayside and been forgotten...
Are "real" bands allowed? Two bands from the early 80's
- Ernst Gob and the Phlegmish National Orchestra (failed to turn up for the Emmanuel College Ball, 1981)
- Don't Chew Blu-Tac (one gig in Oxford then evaporated - but a great logo)
I think you've nominated these before, Lunch.
Give us your contribution also to What's your unusual super-power?
I had a brainwave a few days ago that we should start a tribute band for Beijing bluegrass quintet The Randy Abel Stable and call it The Unstable Table.
This has inspired me to try to revive out little 'Band Names' Game here for a little while.
Perhaps it will prove to be a doomed endeavour - but you gotta try, dontcha?
Nothing could be more bizarre than real band names:
- The The
- Mental as anything
- Right said Fred
- Atilla the Stockbroker
- Don't Chew Blu-Tak (bar-band, early 80s)
Hydroxylamine (pron. hydrok-zigh-lamine) may be used to fuel rockets but it would make a great Ukranian Techno band.
Ukrainian Techno???
I'd like to see what kind of crowd that draws. Fine-lookin' women in the Ukraine!
I do maintain (per that old comment thread) that bands named after a common noun should in most cases be done so in the form [definite article] + [plural form of common noun].
Was it "Buddy Holly and Cricket?" It was not. "Rolling Stone?" Na. "Beatle?" Even naffer than the real name. "Kink?" Intriguing, but incorrect.
Sole possible exception to the rule, from an old KCNA article reporting on the latest glorious achievement of North Korean scientists: "Efficacious Pine-Needle Foodstuff."
Intriguing culinary concept! Pine noodles, perhaps? I've got to try to dig up that reference!
You may have a point, B, about the innate superiority of the The + plural noun formula for band names.
I can't help thinking that The Radioheads might have elaborated the high-energy grunge of their debut album without degenerating into wrist-slitting pretension and regrettable excursions into electronica.
But what is wrong with precisely that?
"ThePlural Noun Formula" is a great band name in itself
Thinking about the Land of the Free:
1. Gingrich Attack
2. Ron Paul and his Libertarians
3. Mitt and the Mormons
4. In-Santorum
5. The Base
6. The Debased
7. Newt, Mitt, Ron & Rick
8. The Foetus Fighters
9. Ricci Santorum and his Swinging Singlets
10. The aborted condoms
And some more from the Tea Party
1. Climate of Denial
2. The Freedom Enforcers
3. Rick and his Condom Prickers
4. The Abstainers
5. Mitt's Flip-Flops
Re The Lunch's real band names, Atilla the Stockbroker did a fine set at the Corpus Christi Ball, Oxford 1983.
With several years having passed since the last swathe of contributions, the old menatl muscles must have recharged by now. I shall think on 't issue but in the interests of keeping it going and in being topical, I give you the pop-punk band:
Sick Rantorum and the Wannabees.
Ah, American politics - I'm so glad to be well away from that. I've missed the condom thing; no regrets on that.
I don't remember Attila playing at Corpus. But then, I never went to my own Ball; the tickets for these things were always way too darned expensive for me, but it seemed impolite to crash at your own College.
I saw Attila a couple of times at the Jericho Tav (and somewhere in London once, forget where now) - a marvellous performer. I have his Scornflakes and Libyan Students From Hell albums - either of which might well be a band name. As might Neighbour of the Beast, I suppose...
If we're following our own advice, the band would have to be called The Plural Noun Formulas. Or perhaps just The Plural Nouns.
Sentence Fragment and Dada-ist Noun Phrase will never attract a following.
The interwebnets have beaten us to the punch. Over on Twitter there is a wonderful bot called @Horse_eBooks that is almost legendary(seriously, look it up).
Most of its tweets are culled from the awful books it is supposed to sell. Most start and end in the middle of sentences, but some - more than you would imagine - read like bizarre gnomic wisdom and would make excellent band names.
https://twitter.com/#!/Horse_ebooks
"Formulas?" Oh, for shame, Froog. For shame.
You'll call the band "The Plural Noun Formulae" and you will fucking well like it.
Also, now that I've had some sleep, how about "The Self-Fulfilling Tautologies?"
Not The Plural Nouns Formulae? How far are you going to take your plurality, B?
I try not to flaunt my knowledge of Latin and Greek too much. After a few hundred years of daily usage, loan-words from these languages have become completely assimilated into English and now form their plurals with a simple s.
If I hear you say hippopotamoi or octopodes, I will spank you.
Sleep may not be your friend when it comes to band-naming inspiration. At least, not the deep, restorative sleep that begets a misplaced sense of well-being and confidence in your mental powers.
Keeping a 'Book of Dreams', however, to record the band names that wake you up in the middle of the night - that could be a promising approach.
I am unconvinced by that Twitter link, Chad. Hard to tell what the point of it is - titles or straplines, real or made-up.
And NONE of the ones currently displayed seem remotely band-name-worthy.
You should make a note of any promising ideas you find there, and present them on this thread as examples of your own brilliance. We will not question your creativity.
B, I think I prefer The Redundant Tautologies.
They might share a bill with The Needless Unnecessaries and The Circular Arguments.
Actually, that last one really might work.
-Draconian Cost Drive (story of my life at the moment)
-Work Related Expense
-Break The Journey (you see what I'm doing here?)
-Stupid Cupid (saccharine girl band)
-Meatmonkey (metal)
-Pope Pius (man with a guitar)
-Wet Wipe (irritating dance)
-The Pen of my Aunt (angst-ridden band from somewhere near Manchester)
-The Tearful Zombies (angry indie band from Manchester)
-Koprofilia (thrash metal)
-Solange Lamarana (girl warbling in a vaguely ethnic way, real name Sophie Wallis)
-Cunn E. Linguss (lesbian solo act with vaguely Irish roots)
Anthony, I am sorry you are the victim of a Draconian cost drive. Beijing will miss you.
I think I could love a girl called Solange Lamarana - such a mellifluous name!
Although... dangerously close to Lama-rama, which conjures up very different images.
Actually, I had meant to write Llama-rama there - but I suppose either will do.
I think Metal Monkey and Meta-Monkey are possibles too.
Or, in deference to Brendan... The Meta-Monkeys.
Hm, how about French-English Spoonerising?
The Tomb of my Plant, anyone??
I've always wanted to use the Hip-Hop name: 一国联军
One Nation Army?
Could work. But is hip-hop really music?
The great bear emerges from its winter sleep...
Credible Candidate (dangerous choice of name - people will assume they don't exist or won't show up)
Entourage of One (formerly Stalker)
Accidental Burning
Zen and the Art of Unicycle Maintenance
How I Spent My College Fund
Subliminal (known for playing very short sets)
Trouble Entendre (formerly Hard Of Hearing)
Mystery of Violence
The Lava Lumps
Live Nude Gorillas
Machete Don't Text
Walt's Frozen Head
Free Entry? No, Cover Charge! (have to be careful with punctuation on the marquee)
Slice'n'Dice (or Sly Sand Ice?)
Naga Saga
Nutella Smears
Skid Marx (perhaps a cover band doing Richard Marx songs in the style of Skid Row, or vice versa)
Plastic Surgery Remasters (Dead Kennedys tribute band)
Gary, great to have you back! You are The King of Band-Naming!!!
Skid Marx - the mind boggles!
NoDoz and the Hypnagogic Hallucinations
Wharrrgarbl
Grizzly Conspiracy
Dot Tumblr Dot Com
Bo Xilai's Political Future
Otto Correct and the Ducking Curt-mongers
Catechism of Cliche (it's been a while since anyone posted a Flann O'Brien reference here)
Can't be bothered to look through them all to see if you've already had:
The Golden Vomit
And (from an earlier epoch):
Snotty and the Nosepickers
I'm sorry to report that "Not NOT Licking Toads" is already the name of a band (via http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=3839), but I bet we could all sneak up on them and take it when they're not looking.
(That was me just now.)
Hi Froog
Remember Rhythmic Pastimes? OK so it was an album not a band but hey...
Other thoughts....
The Fornicating Frogs
Lemon Drizzle
Chocolate Fireguard
Revenge of the Ghost Chillis
More Chips Please
and some topical ones...
Republican Roulette
My Newt Interest
Foetal Attraction
The Rockery Danger
(album: No Climb Up!)
Welcome, Lou. Who are you and how did you find us? The Golden Vomit sounds like one of those Razzie-type worst of... awards.
Milvus - no, I don't remember Rhythmic Pastimes. It's an album? Really? By whom? I can imagine it being a Lamb-era Peter Gabriel lyric, but... It seems to be unknown to Google as well! You just made that up, didn't you?
Dave, I spy Chinglish Signage Inspiration - and why not? But that, of course, is a band name in itself/
Freddy's Fingers
My favourite bar owner, Mike, came up with that one last night while we were chatting about classic horror films.
A little later, his brother-in-law Sam's experimental drink mixing produced a particularly disgusting luminous green sludge (didn't taste bad, though!) which I dubbed Zombie Snot.
You see what I mean? Possible band names are EVERYWHERE!!
On the Chinglish signage theme, one of my favourites was the warning they used to have posted at airport security checks all over the country - No Prohibited Dirks.
Regular dirks were OK, obviously. And machetes, kukris, katanas, etc.
Brendan, is Bo Xilai's Political Future the band formerly known as Cancelled Due To Lack Of Interest?
I was just inspired - while lamenting that young people today insist on being able to 'like' something or to 'unfriend' somebody with only one press of a button - with the idea that this is a Single-Click Generation... and that this is a perfect band name for our times.
Froog
Rhythmic Pastimes was one of the many albums by Melange - courtesy of our friend the Abingdon Chemist. Listened to many times on road trips to places like The Gower, Caerphilly and even Hull!
Sad, I know, that I remember these things...
Aha! I possibly never knew that even at the time, Milvus. I remember Melange, but I never paid much attention to Ian's 'album titles' - and I missed out on a number of those road trips. Good name! What were the others?
Of course, now you have me thinking of possible band names like Melange a Trois and The Glass Melangerie!
A former friend here in Beijing has such an over-developed propensity for taking a savage dislike to people (and for pissing them them, in an uncannily correlated way) that some joke there is actually a blacklist of personae non gratae. It has even been said that there are only two types of expat here: those who are already on The List, and those who are going to be.
It came up tonight... and I immediately thought that The Enemies List would make a pretty good band name!
Stop me, somebody!!
American Idle
No Longer A Planet
Alibi For Hire
Full Metal Jackass
Inane Asylum
Integrated Circus
The Banned
Philosophy For Beginners
Egotistical Anomaly
Prisoner of Zelda
Major Major
Haunted Spouse
Ice Pie
Hairy Fish
The June Moon Crooners
Gary - you're unstoppable! You should do this for a living.
I just came up with the idea of Zombie Tweets.
The Archbishop of Hell
La Vice Anglaise
Twinned with Slough
Bronchial Serenade
Twinned with Slough? A fate I wouldn't wish on any community! (Although Huairou, the sprawling 'county town' to the north-east of Beijing could certainly be a candidate.)
I have been suffering the bronchial serenade myself for the past few weeks. I begin to wonder if there's any point in leaving Beijing, since the damage it's done to my lungs by now is almost certainly irreversible.
Hi, Froog. Indeed, I am still alive, though my blog is dead. Or is it only mostly dead? Incidentally, I will make that my first band name submission (Only Mostly Dead -or- The Mostly Deads).
Though I haven't been doing much --err, any-- blogging over the past year, I've been doing some other writing off and on (The Off and Ons). Alas (Alas Lasses), nothing that I'm ready to put out there.
Otherwise I've just been half busy with work (No Outlet and The Dead Ends), watching too much TV (Mute), traveling the world (Two Ounce Liquids), and, I'm only slightly embarrassed to say, knitting (The Wonky Mittens).
My votes go to Single Click Generation and The Banned (clever!).
Thank you for dropping by and leaving a note. I'm glad to see you're still going strong!
OMG - how lovely to hear from you again!
Your long online silence had been starting to worry me.
I now find myself thinking Mostly Dead Is Not All Dead could be a band name.
Or perhaps The Mostly Deads... or The Ungrateful Deads... or The Mostly Ungrateful.......
Stop me!
My Personal Spammer (also a band name! isn't everything?) just suggested Barefoot Actors.
Even spambots are getting in on the game now!
Today's (ahem, slightly naughty) spambot sugggestions are...
The 3D Sex Teachers (I added a 'The' and pluralized, in deference to Brendan), and...
Priyanka Studio Porn
(Priyanka, I discover, is a rather beautiful Indian female name meaning something like 'darling' or 'beloved'.)
Well we are proving to all of our satisfaction that there is probably an infinite number of band names out there, I think, despite whatever anyone else says.
Moving into the world of digital technology:
The iPhoneys
The Touchscreens
The Ring Tones
Autokorrect (Kraut rock at its coolest)
The Predictive Texts (a prog band if ever there was one)
…and more of a lifestyle thing:
Fast Dial & the Pizza Delivery
Chad, surely that should be AutoKorrekt, with k's throughout! First album Das ist Gud!?
And I can't help thinking that Priyankastudioporn was the Thai Prime Minister a few years ago...
And wouldn't Siri Says Sorry be a great band name for our times?
I quite like Rumours of a Coup as a band name...
Or indeed Topical Reference
Or Groundless Anxiety...
Ha, I love Siri Says Sorry.
How about -
Bring Back Bo
Chongqing Counterstrike
(or perhaps Bring Back Bo & The Chongqing Counterstrike)
Friends In Sly Places
Subversive Tweets
Profits of Doom (very 2012 - should be the company name for one of those survivalist bunker condo ventures!)
Hysterical Rectum (I think this band actually exists, but perhaps Hysterical Rex is an original)
Zed's Undead
Werewolves of London (somebody must have done this, surely)
Waswolf
Infinite Jest (did we already have this?)
Parallaxative
Barsoom Blues
Gary, great to hear from you again.
You've seen the Disney John Carter, have you? Not impressed?
I love Profits of Doom. That's got to be the name of a metal band somewhere. Or, if it isn't, it should be.
This is easy- my band's called The Two Hundredth Comment.
The Ill Luminati
Nice try, John, but we'll have no cheating here!
Oh dear - Catholic hip-hoppers, Ben? Good name, cringe-inducing band concept!
Come along now, lads and lasses, we're still just a few short of the magic 200th contribution to this epic thread.
Last night in the bar, Aztec Gas Station and Out-of-Work Gods came up as possibilities. (Barman Sam is working on a short story somehow connected to this idea, so it's he who should get the credit for these.)
The Bassett Strippers
Thanks, Lady G (not the real one, I assume???). How did you find us here?
It seems I had somehow managed to miscount the other day when I advertised that we only had TWO comments to go (I think I must have been intending to add a comment here advertising that fact, but didn't get around to it).
Well, now we are ON THE BRINK.
The NEXT comment will be the 200th contribution to this thread!! Who will claim the honour of making it?
Not me. I'll shut up for a while, watching and waiting in anxious anticipation...
義匪 would be a great name for a Chinese band. I can't believe no-one's done it yet.
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